“It’s been 2 months, why do you still share posts about narcissistic partners?”

[TiredOfNarcs]

Because I can be over the narcissist yet still be healing from what he put me through.
Because I want to turn this dark point in my life into a teachable moment for those I care about.
Because I have a platform and I want to use it to make sure more people are educated so that they don't have to go through what I went through.
Because it's my truth and I deserve to keep speaking it.

[square]

2 months is not even slightly an adequate time to process all this.

Whoever said that is flapping their gums about something they don't remotely get. Most people understand even an ordinary split takes longer than two months.

You're fine.

[GentleSoul]

Because I can be over the narcissist yet still be healing from what he put me through.
Because I want to turn this dark point in my life into a teachable moment for those I care about.
Because I have a platform and I want to use it to make sure more people are educated so that they don't have to go through what I went through.
Because it's my truth and I deserve to keep speaking it.

Well said, it takes as long as it takes.  We deserve as much time as we need to heal and recover.  The assault on our nervous system causes huge damage.  Takes a long time to get back into balance and heal. 

My Trauma Bond with late covert narc took about 8 months to break.  Until that had gone, healing can't really even start.

Other people should keep their uniformed opinions to themselves.  Unless you have experienced a PD person, you have no idea what it is like.

Also we need to talk, to express, to untangle the insanity we lived with so we can move forward. 

[JustKeepTrying]

Hey, you do you and shame on them for implying that you should be over it.  Ugh.

It takes time, effort - like real effort - to process what happened.  It is your truth.  Keep speaking it.  We will listen

[hhaw]

A good trauma informed Therapist will help get through and to the cause of the N relationship so one understands, heals and files the trauma into historic files in the brain, IME.

That frees one up for something new and healthier, IME.

Failing to deal with the cause cause of choosing an N could doom one to repeat the pattern.

Seeking to process the N experience is wise and shows tremendous bravery and self care, IME.

[Gettintired76]

Because six months in the seperation Im still dealing with her ass. Hey ToN I've been asked that alot myself. And considering it seems around here they adamantly disregard PSA (post separation abuse) I still have a long road ahead. All I can tell you is dont worry about the comments only uou know what you are going through and only you know your reasons for continuing a dialogue about your ex, and as with everyone else hear I know they are valid reasons. In a situation like ours I know first hand that A: we cant just turn your feelings off about somone, no matter how long you may have known the relationship was over (when it happens for real it's devastating and frightening). And B: unlike some we have empathy and compassion and will continue to care about and worry about those we once loved. So it's natural that you will still speak of your e. 2 months in that is a very short time to "come to grips". So all that being said, you just keep on doing you and ignore the nayers.

[Jsinjin]

I truly had no idea how completely jumpy, frustrated, angry, scared, stunted and immature this interaction has made me.   I don't know how long it should take to heal but I feel like what a torture victim must think about after their torment is over.   "Why me?" "Why did this happen?" "Why did someone treat me like this?" "Why would anyone treat someone else like this?" "Why do I feel so worthless despite all I have done and can be?" "Why didn't I see that this was bad and stand up the moment the problem started?" "Will I ever be normal again?"

The list continues and circles back over and over.   I've often said internally that I can't ever have a relationship again because of how much this has changed my personality.   I'm not looking and that's not a cry for help; it's the truth about how I feel and I've learned one thing from this forum and that is validation for feeling this way.   

We were playing a game we never thought we would play or have to play that we didn't understand the rules for and one of the players has decided that a goal is to harm the other player and another goal is to control the other player even though the outward goal of the game is to have a shared relationship between two people.   

We kept thinking "I don't understand why she/he does XYZ" and it turns out that the PD does it for reasons we still don't fully understand.

Post away, come back as often as you need, share your thoughts with us because we won't judge, complain until you think we would say "enough already" because we won't, we will say "we hear you and we understand and you deserve to ask your questions and post your observations and tell us how you feel.

[Boat Babe]

Sending so much love to you all ❤️

[TiredOfNarcs]

I truly had no idea how completely jumpy, frustrated, angry, scared, stunted and immature this interaction has made me.   I don't know how long it should take to heal but I feel like what a torture victim must think about after their torment is over.   "Why me?" "Why did this happen?" "Why did someone treat me like this?" "Why would anyone treat someone else like this?" "Why do I feel so worthless despite all I have done and can be?" "Why didn't I see that this was bad and stand up the moment the problem started?" "Will I ever be normal again?"

The list continues and circles back over and over.   I've often said internally that I can't ever have a relationship again because of how much this has changed my personality.   I'm not looking and that's not a cry for help; it's the truth about how I feel and I've learned one thing from this forum and that is validation for feeling this way.   

We were playing a game we never thought we would play or have to play that we didn't understand the rules for and one of the players has decided that a goal is to harm the other player and another goal is to control the other player even though the outward goal of the game is to have a shared relationship between two people.   

We kept thinking "I don't understand why she/he does XYZ" and it turns out that the PD does it for reasons we still don't fully understand.

Post away, come back as often as you need, share your thoughts with us because we won't judge, complain until you think we would say "enough already" because we won't, we will say "we hear you and we understand and you deserve to ask your questions and post your observations and tell us how you feel.

This resonated with me so much. These are questions I never thought I'd have to ever find myself pondering again after the previous toxic relationship I'd endured, and there's nothing quite as demoralizing as thinking you've found the "good one" after previous abuse only for that person to turn out to be completely toxic as well. The bad memories revived by this recent ordeal are the kinds of things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's so fucking hard to come to grips with the fact that some people and their vile ways simply cannot ever be understood.

[Gettintired76]

All the love in the world the comin your way.