NPD and extreme religiousness

[FugitiveDaughter]

I used to think people with NPD couldn't genuinely be religious (had a grandparent with NPD who definitely wasn't), I sort of thought they mostly found it ridiculous and pointless - you know with themselves being so godlike or even gods themselves. I still don't know. However, now I've seen a few who seem to at least pretend to be extremely religious. I mean the kind who are extremely conservative in all issues and think of themselves as the righteous folk as opposed to anyone who disagrees with them. Is it genuine? These people I've come across seem to have a tendency for schizophrenic symptoms as well so they might interpret those as religious experiences. I know the whole question is rather pointless but I am intrigued, can they be genuinely religious or are they faking it to gain something to themselves?

[NarcKiddo]

How can we ever know if their beliefs are genuine?

My uNPD mother is outwardly religious in that she attends church regularly, attends Bible studies, actively helps with church activities and the like. She also likes to confess to a priest from time to time, although she is not a Roman Catholic. She firmly believes that confession will absolve her of past sins but does not seem in any way to be interested in the "go and sin no more" part of it.

She is astonishingly well-read on religious subjects and can find ways to support whatever view she is currently voicing, if necessary.

[foobarred]

I think it depends on where religion fits into their twisted little view of themselves.  Dad was a classic narc - he didn't need God, b/c he *was* god.  Religion, in his opinion, was for the weak.

Mom, covert narc/borderline/dependent, was very religious after Dad died.  But I think a lot of it was one-upmanship.  I went to church, so she had to go to church.  I gave, so she had to give (and was always asking how much I gave so she could give more).  I got baptized, she got baptized.  I remember how shocked I was when she later told me she didn't really believe at the time.  To stand up before God and man and declare yourself a Christian when you aren't one, that takes a special kind of chutzpah.  "Oh, but I came to believe later!"  Well, that makes it all right then. 

But all those behaviors fit with her view of herself as someone who is morally superior to the rest of us.  Someone who is "respectable".  She isn't a classic intellectual or somatic narc,  but she has an unshakeable belief in her *moral* superiority.

So in my experience, PDs view religion through the lenses of their false selves, and can thus be very "religious" when it suits them.  But that is not the same as genuine spirituality.  Genuine spirituality involves a willingness to confront the truth - the truth about who you are, the truth about Who God is, and the truth about who other people are.  And not just to confront it, but to act on it - to arrange your life in the light of what you see.  Being a PD is like the antithesis of the truth - they lie, their life is a lie, their view of themselves is a lie.  Not for nothing one author called them The People of the Lie.  And I just don't see how that's compatible with spiritual life.

[square]

I do not know, but here are my thoughts.

My understanding is that, while all NPDs do not perceive any equals to themselves, that at least some of them perceive a few superiors (as well as the masses of inferiors). An NPD can idolize a billionaire, a celebrity, a father, etc.

Logically, I would surmise that an NPD could therefore position God (and, say, Jesus) in the superior position, and "idolize" God (in quotations since worshipping God is not idolatry but I feel like the method of worship by an NPD may be similar to idolatry).

I personally believe that an NPD will not take the spiritual lessons the same way others may, and will use religion as a way to feel superior. But I think it is possible for some NPDs to actually believe in God, yes.