Possible that son could have picked up BPD traits from his mother

[verum71]

I am new to this parenting board and needing some help.  My 19 y/o son is struggling with mental health and addiction.  He is currently homeless as of the the last 3 days.  he had a breakdown and my BPDx (his mother) went up there to try and convince him to go a mental health facility, detox, or a shelter.  In the end, he went to a hospital for a 24 hour hold, which he stayed at until the following morning and left.  I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and asked him what came about from his hospital visit - were they recommending detox?  He told the hospital staff he was using opiates during his admission (his mom had told me this - she took him in).  He said he has been sober for 2 months to me on the phone.  Then he said the only reason he went to the hospital was to take a shower.  Before he went to the hospital, he berated everyone for abandoning him and it was everybody else's fault that he was in the situation that he is in.  That is a quick summary of events.
Backtrack like 13 years ago  - the circumstances currently with my son  were almost identical with my son's borderline mother.  My Borderline ex was diagnosed in 2004 - we got divorced in 2009.  it was a crazy time in 2009 - she was hospitalized during the evening - decided she was ready to leave the next day and didn't need to be there.  The circumstances are eerily identical to a fault. 
I guess where I am going with all of this is that I am seeing borderline traits and tendencies in my son's behavior - he is not diagnosed.  Anyboday have any similar experiences like this?  Any feedback would be greatly appreciated

[xredshoesx]

my heart goes out to you in this situation- not only are you trying to get your adult child help for what may be a possible PD but your son is also battling addiction as well.     the best advice i can share is that there is nothing you did or said, or didn't do or say, that caused your son to make the choices he is making and until he is ready to ask and receive help you may be in a holding pattern and from what you shared, since your ex is helping him by taking him in, it may take some time for his rock bottom to happen and both the addiction and mental health issues can be addressed.   

as the child of someone who is uPD and also an addict, i've been doing a lot of reading and reasearch over the summer trying to understand my own mother better so as an adult i can see her actions through a different lens.  this was a book that really spoke to me and maybe it would be helpful you.

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/if-you-love-me-maureen-cavanagh/1132853465

i hope that you have some IRL resources you can lean on as well-   you are not alone in this battle and here is a resource that may help you find some face to face support in your area
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

hope this can help-