Did my uNPD ex-husband devalue his own son?

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

I think this happened slowly - or maybe I just saw it slowly.

Prior to our separation, my ex started to have a few older teens work with him on his job site.  He's a contractor.  I thought this was a great idea- they're younger, stronger, etc...   In hindsight, he was getting "supply" from them.  He mentored them and it made him feel great.   Shortly after our separation and when our son moved in with me, my ex spent more and more time with one young man.  Again, I thought, he's helping him, how nice.  Nope - it was a supply and he basically shoved our son aside.   I was anticipating that I'd be arguing to spend time with my son, but it's the opposite.  Since February, my son has only spent 2 nights with his father and has gone 10 days at a time without even seeing him.

I knew he devalued and discarded me, but to his own son?  Wow.  My son doesn't grovel to see him or reach out.  But, he's like any other 18 year old (I work in a high school, so I know ).  My ex wants to feel worshipped and like a king.

I just didn't see this coming.

[Stillirise]

I had a very similar scenario, although my DS is a bit younger, with the added twist that updxh was having an inappropriate relationship with the mother of his "new supply."  Like you, it's gone on for years. You're right...It's nothing more than a pitiful attempt to find someone to look up to them, and give them supply. it's sad that the PD's can't even see the intrinsic value of their own children. This is the thread where my xh took it to a whole other level...

https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=89472.msg764318#msg764318

Now DS has taken an interest in a hobby that xh also enjoys.  So, at least right now, he shows interest, when it comes to that.  Xh tends to go overboard, though, so I expect a backlash when DS either loses interest, or becomes disillusioned with trying to please his F.  They have had a rocky relationship, but thankfully DS has displayed a higher level of emotional intelligence than his F, thus far. Their relationship is out of my hands, so I can only hope for the least amount of trauma possible for DS. Best wishes to you and your DS, as you navigate this next chapter.

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

I just read the posts from the link. WOW - similar behaviors. 

It's creepy behavior and in some ways, PD's "groom" their new supply.  Every relationship my ex has, he has to manipulate to his advantage.  It would be unrealistic of me to expect him to treat his son any differently.