A year of hell

[Bettyloo]

This evil person conned me into a relationship. Lived with me. Stole from me. Endangered me. Slandered. Etc etc. When I found out the truth he left town. But he put his friends in place to take over. Now he's back. It just keeps going on and on. I had to call 911 today on his friend. I can't leave town. I have no support. No money. I can't take it anymore.  I need help.  Someone to listen to me. I have no protection whatsoever

[hhaw]

Bettyloo:

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but glad you're reaching out.

You sound like you're so upset you can't think straight and that's good for him and his friends.  Not you.  When humans are frightened their higher thinking frontal cortex shuts down completely and survival brain takes over. It's a terrible place with very little choice, IME. 

Please try to breathe in slowly and exhale slowly 10 times and check your level of upset.  Is it getting better?  Breathe another 10X and check the distress in your body.  Where is it?  Put your hands on it and name it.  How bad is it?  Give it a numbr from one to ten..... is it burning, or is it pressure or stinging pain?

Breathe another 10x..... concentrating on the distress in your body.  Really focus on it and if you can't....
if it doesn't get better......
get up and push on a doorjamb with everything you have.... all your strength and keep breathing.... focusing on your breathe, but pushing.

Fight or flight survival brain wants to act..... to save you from an imminent threat, so let it act and PUSH with all our might for 10 deep breaths..... just push. 

If that doesn't help..... if you can't focus..... find a place in your body that's neutral...... your shins or elbows.... something without tension and pain and breathe while focusing on that..... 10x.

What you're trying to do is calm your brain down enough so that you have access to your logic, reason and creative problem solving brain, bc it sounds like you really need clarity and the ability to help yourself OUT of this situation. Panic and dear will rob you of choice, IME. 

All is not lost, though it might feel that way.  What happened when you called 911?  Was someone arrested?  Did the police come?

You have access to a computer and there are many wise voices on this forum who've likely been in similar circumstances as you..... at least they'll have opinions and information and contacts to offer for your consideration.

But you need to calm yourself and your brain.... down.  So you can think your way out of this.

You've lost one year to this guy.

I hope you can get him out of your life before 2022 ends.

Keep posting and please breathe.... just try it. 

[Spring Butterfly]

No one here can know what is best and right for you in your unique situation. It sounds like you're in a dangerous situation.

Here's an online hotline where you can speak or message live with a trained Domestic Violence (DV) counselor who can help you assess the risk you are under and what the best plan of action for you situation may be.
https://www.thehotline.org

This is a link to an excellent resource that can help you gauge the risk you are in. It is called the Mosaic Method and was developed to help every day people like us to be able to put the pieces of the stuff we are facing together in one place and determine the level of threat to us. It is free and I strongly recommend you work through the process and consider the picture that emerges carefully.
https://www.mosaicmethod.com

Here are some other helpful tools:
Leaving Checklist
Grey Rock-Safe Detachment
In an Emergency


Let us know how you are and come back often as you are able. We don't know what you 'should' do next, but we know without a doubt you do not deserve this treatment and we will support you as you figure out what you want and need to do about it.