Ruined a family wedding/family name

[bgirl12]

What is worse? Ruining a family wedding or ruining a family wedding and not feeling remorse?
Should a bride receive consequences of being called a !%$#&ing c word on her wedding night because she made a decision you did not agree with? Surely, some disagree, but don't they keep it to themselves? Should you actually call someone that and then lie about it when you are confronted at the wedding you just ruined? No. Not my sister. I asked her if she actually said it and she looked at me like I had 3 heads like she had no idea what I was talking about. I told her she needs to apologize.

My father is a flying monkey, defended my sister, and believes there should be consequences for such as decision. He acts like this is the crime of the century. It's a wedding. And my niece and her husband were vulnerable in front of their families and friends and did not deserve such treatment. Picture a bride in tears, the groom upset, and my brother so upset and mad he told my family to get my sister out of there. My parents had to leave with her in humiliation because they arrived in the same car. My dad actually tried to defend my sister before she was told to leave. I just stood there stunned and tried to calm down my brother and it was not working. I fear I am also included in the blame and he is mad at all of us. My father actually expected me to wait for them and leave with them. I left quickly. I couldn't see anymore.

That was the first time we all met the groom's family and may very well be the last time as we are now branded the crazy family. I had nothing to do with this, but it affects me too. I am normally blamed for antagonizing my sister which I do by simply breathing most of the time, but this time she did it to herself. I believe she is an alcoholic and borderline. She is paranoid about things, using doesn't help. Loves to start fights, ridicule, and punish people. Sends Hate mail, hate texts, and generally confronts people at family parties over what she thinks is awful but is really not that big of a deal. Those are her trademarks.

I spent the last few years in a program for friends and family of alcoholics based on a recommendation from this forum. It helps a lot. I told my mom today that if she honestly believes that my sister is justified in upsetting our loved ones and on such a special occasion, I may cut them off because I cannot align with such values or see my loved ones so upset again. I have been there. She has hurt me and ruined birthdays and holidays due to her drinking, temper, or nastiness. It's always the punishment I deserved apparently. but to see my poor niece and brother so upset- I will never forget that. It was the happiest I have ever seen them. And it was the most upset i have ever seen them.

Also- I told my mom if she loved my sister she would stop letting her rot in her addiction and bad behaviors. She would stop allowing her daughter to ruin everything.

My parents are still defending my sister. They rode all the way home with her, didn't speak to her the next day and have no intention of sitting her down to suggest perhaps she apologize. They never make her face her consequences. Hence the addiction and still living at home but blaming it on being a single mom. Oh and she is sick so we have to understand what she is going through. But she vapes and drinks, so it's not her fault she is sick. My father says I cannot be mad at her because when he and my mom die I have to take care of my sister. That will not be happening. She doesn't take care of my parents- they take care of her. She will take from them until they die and she will not take from me.

I am ready to walk away from my sister and besides my niece, I may be the only one in the family. This will be isolating but I think I am ready. Thanks for listening.

[lkdrymom]

I'm sorry you had to witness this.  Why was she even invited if her behavior is known to be crazy?  Reach out to the offended parties and let them know you were appalled at her behavior.  People like this do not add to your life and need to be avoided. Your parents can make their own decisions but will have to live with the consequences.