Obligated to share...?

[Sojourner17]

I've hit a bit of a stumbling block these last few weeks and I'm hoping that perhaps I could get some help untangling some of my thoughts or get someone else's insight on this issue.

About two weeks ago I had a phone call with my mom.  I posted about it in a different part of the forum.  One of the things that came up as she was getting heated up was the following:  She asked me if I thought I was obligated to tell people if I thought they were going on the wrong path spiritually.  Basically, "Sojourner, don't you believe that you are obligated to share your faith and tell people (me) if you think they are on the wrong path?"  (not exactly her words of course).  Unfortunately, I cant remember exactly how I responded to this as it was around this time that all I could think of was how to exit the conversation and I was scrambling mentally to find a way to get off the phone. Perhaps I wrote more about what I said in my original post...id have to go back and check,

Now, part of me feels like the question posed to me was intended as an attack or a way to bait me into saying something that she could then use against me or could then use to continue to argue with me.  And yet I'm having troubles working out how to respond to this in upside/down, inside out pd land as it is so different from what I would think in a normal situation.  However, at the same time, I don't think anyone would ever actually ASK this type of question in non-pdland.  At least I've never come across this type of question outside of maybe a teacher posing this question during a sermon in order to spur others on to sharing their faith.

I've never been quite comfortable with the modern day idea of Christian evangelism.  I find it somewhat pushy, arrogant, and rude and have always thought of it this way.  While I think sharing faith is important the thought of going to someone and telling them that they are on the wrong path seems presumptuous, and obnoxious.   Especially going and telling your own mother that.  Yes, I have shared things in the past about my faith when she has asked or I felt it was a good time to share but its usually come back to bit me, even if it was done in the gentlest way I could do it at the time.

I just keep on getting hung up on this though.  Its really bothering me but im having troubles navigating all the twists and turns in my mind.

[moglow]

the thought of going to someone and telling them that they are on the wrong path seems presumptuous, and obnoxious.

To me it feels somewhat judgmental as well. Is it my place really to tell another I think they're on the wrong path? I guess I take issue with her whole "don't you believe you are obligated to ...?" questioning. It felt as if *she* is judging me and finds me wanting for not poking into another's beliefs, if that makes sense, like being baited into a "discussion" I'd wanted no part of. It's different if someone asks me directly how I see [enter situation here] and I can answer honestly without feeling I'm being blasted as WRONG.

There are some people I simply have no interest in having those conversations with, my own mother being one of them. She rather conveniently [mis]quotes scripture to her advantage, and takes me to task for her interpretation. Cherry-picking, know what I mean?

But are you "obligated"? I don't think so. And she's free to disagree with me. I'm okay with being "wrong" if that's the case.

[Call Me Cordelia]

For the record, I agree with you that the whole conversation with your mother, "Don't you think you are obligated...?" looks like a giant trap. I mean, it's practically Acme dynamite.

But... there are circumstances where it would be simply compliance with another person's sin if you are silent. A good example would be those who saw that something wasn't right with our FoO's as children and decided to go along to get along rather than face the facts in front of their eyes.

Even this gets tricky though, because it may well have been the case that they would have done more harm in speaking out. It really comes down to a judgment call in the majority of cases. So the answer truly is, "Sometimes." Doesn't really fly with a black and white thinker. I think you're having a hard time with this question because it simply is a hard question. You can have principles for it, but they need to be applied to something real.

[Sojourner17]

CmC,  I think circumstances with another believer where you see that they are sinning and you are in a position/relationship where you could speak to that sin would be where obligation to say something would be where the whole "are you obligated" would come to play.  Sometimes that would take great courage to say something as you still don't know how they will take it.  You know... the whole if you have something/some issue you go to the person, if they don't want to hear it/no change, you take one or two others with you, if its still an issue you bring it up to the congregation (im paraphrasing obviously).

I think i get hung up on the conversation with mom as I feel like I'm doing mental gymnastics in order to work through it.  Its left me feeling destabilized for sure.  Yes, its a hard question, and yes, there is no black and white answer.  It depends on the person, it depends on the circumstances, it depends on the level or depth of the relationship.  All I know is, pointing out where my mom is wrong (on the wrong path...whatever) would definitely, at some point, blow up in my face.

Moglow,  yep, i felt baited and like I couldn't answer honestly even though she was demanding an honest answer from me because she said she really truly "wanted to know what i thought".