FOO making up words for emotions

[T-dog]

I only recently remembered that in my FOO we had a couple of made-up words/phrases for when someone is in a bad mood or when there was conflict. I expect these were created by my uNPDm as a way of navigating emotions without having to actually name them. I wondered if this is common in other families with emotionally immature parents?

Other than saying she is 'upset' (which could mean anything), I don't think I've heard my mother name more than a handful of emotions, including happy, sad, angry, miffed and betrayed. She seems to physically recoil when I say other emotion words such as anxious, depressed, nervous etc. and I noticed that she has shut the conversation down in the past as soon as those things are mentioned. It's weird but it makes more sense now I know more about why she is the way she is.

My eldest brother used one of the made-up phrases recently when referring to his girlfriend and how she seemed to be angry with him about something, and I've only just realised why it annoyed me so much! I guess it becomes one of those 'family things' where you can say this phrase and the immediate family know what you mean, and that's not necessarily a bad thing for siblings to be able to share when younger. I think it annoys me as it seems like a backward step when you can choose from such a great selection of actual, expressive  emotion words!

[NarcKiddo]

Interesting. I'd not made the connection before, but we have family words for angry and for sad. I'm not sure if we have ever used the real words. Those particular emotions are also very problematic for the family.

[Call Me Cordelia]

My FIL uses a euphemism for my MIL's inappropriate rants. It works to minimize and laugh her behavior off as just a little silly, what are you going to do?

[Cat of the Canals]

I never thought about this before, but you're right. When we describe PDmom's behavior in my family, it always seems to be that she's "upset." Not angry or livid or throwing a tantrum, which are far more accurate than "upset." And by way of excusing her behavior, I've often heard "She's allowed to have feelings." These phrases are never said about anyone but PDmom.

And she has a little cache of words for us when we're "upset." When we were kids, we were always described as "grumpy." Or sometimes we were labeled as being "a grump." As adults, when we aren't toeing the line, she'll complain that we're "being really nasty to her."

[doglady]

My uClusterB mother is never simply upset or disappointed. She is quite commonly 'slaughtered' [complete with operatic wail] when her subjects displease her.