How to keep NC with shared children

[escapingman]

I have kept NC for 8 months with uNPDstxw, I am doing quite good I would say. But I keep being reminded by DD as she has contact with her mum. This morning she mentioned STBX had done something, I asked how does she know without thinking and she put a social media post in my face where I had to see STBX out enjoying herself. I wasn't triggered in any way, but now I just can't get the image away of my mind. My brain just keep processing the image and I keep asking myself "Who is that?". I honestly have no idea who is behind that mask, and neither do I want to know. It is DD's mum so I can't ask her to stop speaking about her, but I wish she kept more quiet about it.

How do you others with shared children deal with this?

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

I believe my son is older so it's easier. 

Anything can trigger me right now with my ex-PD - a truck that looks like his, sometimes my son reminds me of him, pictures....

I just keep working on myself and it does get easier - NC is key for me.  Right now, nothing feels good to me regarding my son and his dad.  If they have a good time, it triggers me....if my son is disappointed by him, it triggers me and I get angry. 

My life is getting fuller ( slowly, but it's changing) and as it does, I am triggered less and it doesn't last as long.

I heard a phrase on a podcast today ( Mel Robbins).  A setback is a setup for your future.  How true!!  The time/drama/stress it took me to change my life was my setup for my now.  Every day, I write down 10 things I am grateful for to remind me of how peaceful my life is now.  It helps with the triggers.

Keep up the good work 

[escapingman]

Thanks Plants.

I think my DD is hiding some of her relationships with her mother, I am OK with that but I wish she didn't lie about it. Like this social media she showed me yesterday, she said she just stumbled across it, but you need to have connected to see the content and DD denies being connected with either her mum or the friend that posted it. I understand she is in a difficult position being in the middle, but she was also abused and far from healed.

On another note, I was out with some friends yesterday night. It was so good just having mindless conversation, too many beers and just get on with life. I even felt like some of the women paid an interest, way to early for me but it was a good feeling. But my radar was out and singled out one of them as potential PD, without me speaking to her 

But back on the subject. I used to be like you Plants, if I saw a car of the same brand or colour as STBX drives I used to freeze. I don't do that anymore so that is progress for me. But if I see a car of both the same brand, model and colour I instinctively look at the numberplate to see if it is her. I wish I could move area, but DD (and GC) are in a good school and I don't want to uproot them. Also it would not work to move area with just DD and leave GC behind, even though I have no contact I need to be around for when she does need me.