Dr. Ramani All Narcissistic Relationships are a Threesome

[InTheDragonsDen]

Dr. Ramani All Narcissistic Relationships are a Threesome

This is one of my top 10 videos from Dr. Ramani. For me it is about how they give the emotional or physical attention that should be going to you, their partner to another (s) in order to control and dominate their partner. It provides attention for them, diversion from their partner, and gives them the "security" against abandonment by having a person (s) waiting in the wings in the event their partner leaves.

The person that cares the least about the relationship controls the relationship.

The video also talked about the "narcissists stare" which I have sadly witness from day 1 but paid little attention to it, later after looking into NPD I think but not sure it goes to their compartmentalization, where they can separate us from their "others". Still looking for more information on their staring as I am not sure if they are aware that we are watching them as they "hunt" sources.

[SonofThunder]

Hello Dragon,

Agree, that video on triangulation is a good one. Comparing me or my stbx to others, and her side-comments about what others said about my stbx, were the most frequent and still are, even in separation. 

For those that desire a quick link to the video in which you refer, I am placing a link below.  Below that is the Out of the FOG definition on the topic of triangulation.

Dr Ramani video link:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ldw2iDO7yOo

Out of the FOG triangulation definition:
https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/triangulation-divide-conquer

Cheers,

SoT

[InTheDragonsDen]

My wife's cousin, who is married was grinding / touching  / texting / video calling other men to show her dancing way before my wife joined in at private parties. Her husband who never ever go to any private parties with her. I had commented to my wife on several occasions to me her cousins behavior was totally wrong.

Sure enough last November my wife and I at a private party and even though we had talked about this, even though my wife knew I didnt approve and even though when she started dancing, she said she would never touch / grind other men, when I went to the washroom I knew when I came back that is exactly what she would be doing.

Then later I had found out her cousin and my wife had been texting this other man. My wife refused to say when she started texting this man or how often.

Total heartbreak. Then I started thinking back to our first community dance in our area 9 years ago and how she just stared at this young man. It was so obvious. Then further looking back I realized there was not one time in 9 years she didn't stare at a man. By stare I am talking totally focused staring. Not a glance or two.

She was caught cheating three years ago, 2 years of covid lockdowns and I was feeling great good about our relationship, then first dance, my wife has gone from staring to grinding / touching other men. It has been a painful period.

The drug or alcohol addict seeks their drug or alcohol. The attention seeking addict seeks their drug of needing attention from others.

Have caught her doing vidoes with other men watching her dancing, just like her cousin.

There is also the emotional triangulation. Yet she use to throw me breadcrumbs.