Brother looked happy when my grandmother died

[JollyJazz]

Hi All,

Thanks for your support so far on the issues with my PD brother.

It's times like these I'm REALLY glad that my parents/FOO don't know my address!

I was just thinking about it yesterday.

I was very close to my grandparents, and grandma in particular. That side of the family was much calmer and more gentle than the other side.

I spent a lot of time with my grandma in her later years. Despite working full-time, I did a lot of care work, took days off to take her to hospital etc.

My healthy retired parents were often 'too busy', and my brothers didn't do anything except for one, who did help a little.

Anyway, for various reasons we were all in line for an inheritance. I kind of knew that but didn't like thinking about it, because obviously it would mean the passing of my beloved grandmother.

I stayed by her side for days when she was passing, sleeping on a little mat beside her until she passed away (my parents were on an overseas holiday).

To his credit, my younger brother (not quite as PD as the rest) did come and visit at that time.

Anyway, while my grandma was VERY elderly and very at peace when she passed away, I was still sad of course.

Anyway, I told the rest of the family, my parents etc.

But when I told my older brother (the violent one, who I've posted about recently), his reaction was really disturbing... he broke out in a huge smile.
Grandma had just passed away and his first thought was his own self interest. Money.

[moglow]

Ya know, things like remind me that sometimes we just have to look the other way, and be happy we are who we are. I remember when my mother's oldest sister passed [mother saw herself as sister's oldest child], mother was focused on what she'd inherit and kept bringing it up. It didn't occur to her that it doesn't work that way, that her sister's estate would go to HER children and grands. Mother was openly offended - and commented on it several times - that she wasn't gifted "her portion" of aunt's estate. After the funeral she commented that she was so pleased my brothers had attended and were "there for her." Um, they were there to support the cousins, and to make their own goodbyes. Once again it was all about mommie dearest. 

[Srcyu]

I have an uneasy feeling that he was also smiling because of your distress. He sounds appalling. He really is - disturbing.

[JollyJazz]

Hi Moglow,

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that!

Yes, it's all about them isn't it!! Shudder!

[JollyJazz]

I have an uneasy feeling that he was also smiling because of your distress. He sounds appalling. He really is - disturbing.

Hi Windmill!!!

Thanks for your thoughts!
Yes! I thought that a bit later, after I write that as well!
It's truly awful.
The silver lining about all of what's happening is that it's really good at helping me further Out of the FOG.
There's grief but also clarity!

Thanks for talking the time to post! 

[walking on broken glass]

Hello!
This is truly awful. I am really sorry. Don't let it spoil your peaceful memories of your last moments with your grandma. You know that this is an unhealthy and disturbing reaction: it's all about him, him him!
When my grandpa died, both my PD sister and I were out of the country and could not attend the funeral. It was during Easter time. My sister sent me a picture of her Easter meal that did not include her usual lamb dinner, and claimed she did not get lamb because she knew our grandpa was going to die (!!!!!). What a circus.
Many years ago, when my dad's mum had died, my sis threw a tantrum and accused my dad that he was 'overreacting' to his mum's death! They really don't know how to deal with events that instil grief and mourning in other people; they can't handle emotions.

[JollyJazz]

Hi Walking on broken glass,

Thanks for your kind words 

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear about the strange behaviours from your sister. She sounds like she wasn't very empathetic at all about your grandparents passing.

Yikes!!!