I am so tired

[RiverPurl]

Approx 8 years ago I had a row with a sibling.  It was just something that happened in the Hest of a moment.   After that, I was met with a passive aggressive attitude from her and that wasn't new to be honest. She was like that before. I tried to approach the subject at some point after that but she ignored me and so I left it.

After that, she turned on me.  The past 7 years of my life has been nothing more but interrogation from her. Every finer of my being has been pulled apart by her.

We don't see each other any more.  We keep apart and we are somewhat estranged. I say somewhat in that she's the only one keeping up contact.

She manages to send communications about 2 or 3 or 4 times a year and when it happens it usually goes on for a few weeks at a time. She would maintain that she is trying to get me to acknowledge her and fix things but the communications from her is often vile and vulgar and filled with degradatory comments and mockery. I could write a book. The stuff she wrote. It was filthy and its not a normal anger. At times when I read the times her messages are sent, it's in the middle of the nights. It tells me she's not able to sleep in anger and demanding for attention and a response.

Reading between the lines. She wants me to engage with her but this isn't about reconciliation or repairing the relationship its control. When she opens communication, it's insults and mockery.  There's no going back from this. My boundary is in place. She knows what she is doing too. She knows how to clean up her words when she's smearing me to other people but when it comes to communications from her to me - it's all abuse.

My home country falls short on civil law in relation to harassment and the police won't touch the matter without violence from her.
It seems as if she will take this to our graves.

I am finding it all very hard to cope right now. I am trying to live my life but she won't let me go. Before anyone quizzes me, I took appropriate steps but fake profiles have been set up time and time and time again. I am still only in my 30s. How many more decades is this going to follow me for.

Her recent round started 2 weeks ago from nowhere. I became ill afterwards and I think maybe it's from that. I am so tired.

[Srcyu]

That's awful.
My foo also tracked fake profiles easily. I think they must be able to find our ip address or whatever it's called and track us.

It would be good if you could train yourself not to read her deranged garbage.  She does sound obsessed. If your mind could leave her hanging there talking to herself in the wilderness it might help.

[bunnie]

RiverPurl,

Perhaps train yourself to ignore her in your head and energetically. I've gotten pretty good at ignoring my ubpd sister. I fail sometimes, but 95% of the time, I block her out of my mind. She has proven to not be good enough to be my sister. And that's ok.
It's a struggle, no doubt, but any peace you can cultivate is healthy.