My baby brother died

[D.Dan]

I know I haven't been on for awhile...that is due to a traumatic event on me and my children...I still can't talk about it.

I just found out today, my uNpd bro 1 just died shortly after speaking with him last. ..A couple of days ago.

As much as he caused problems for me, he is still one of my baby brothers, and I still love him. It hurts, I did love him and wished him the best... I knew this was coming.

I wished he loved himself as much as I loved him. 

[moglow]

I'm so sorry for your loss, D.Dan. Know that we're here with you and ready to listen whenever you need a shoulder or 17.

[notrightinthehead]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug.

[walking on broken glass]

I am really sorry. Write to us if it will make you feel better. Sending hugs

[Sheppane]

So sorry for your loss xx

[NarcKiddo]

How very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself.

[bloomie]

D.Dan I am so sorry. How hard to lose a brother! I am so glad you reached out. We are here listening when you are ready to share.

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's passing.

[bunnie]

I'm terribly sorry that your baby brother died. The tender feelings you have for him come through in your words
Always hold on to that.

[Adria]

I'm so sorry for your loss, D. Dan. Sending you hugs 

[SonofThunder]

D.Dan, so very sorry to read of the loss of your youngest brother.  Thoughts and prayers to you and your family for comforting, in this time of grief. 

SoT

[SunnyMeadow]

So sorry for your loss D.Dan.

Hugs.....

[D.Dan]

Thank you everyone.

As an update, things got weirder than I ever expected.

My uPDsis has taken over our brother's funeral, not giving any updates, no info about anything, keeping immediate family in the dark (not outside relatives and her friends), and being angry about us not communicating with her instead of the other way around, she doesn't bother communicating with the rest of us . We're not as important to her as her friends.

I had a final straw though. She blamed me for our bro's death, claimed was making her look bad, that I was being selfish and that I can do all the funeral work for our mom alone, when she dies.... I hung up and the blocked her on my cell.

She's treated me like a nobody since childhood. But using our younger brother's death and his funeral to punish me into doing what she wants me to do.... no.

I'm done with her.  That is completely inappropriate!  But thanks to the info on here, I can go NC pretty easily. (Not like there was much of a relationship with her to begin with...)

Thank you everyone .

[SonofThunder]

D.Dan, im so very sorry you are processing this grief and dealing with this absolutely gut wrenching PD accusation and control.  Mind-blowing what these PD's will do.

Again, sorry for the loss.

SoT

[D.Dan]

Update.

I went around my uPDsis's back and found out where and when my brother's funeral is (she left a voice mail telling us this info at the last minute.... Less than 24 hrs!)

She is being a control freak... almost setting everyone up to look bad compared to herself... (She's had a couple of weeks to
prepare)

I do believe this is her way of showing how much she cared for our younger brother. I don't doubt that she cared for him too. However, I don't think she can handle /accept her feelings of grief, and is pushing them outwards towards the rest of the immediate family. Forcing us to deal with them I stead of herself.

She's hurting us with this behaviour. It's not just abusive, but makes it seem like her grief is more important than anyone else's. It is still unacceptable.

I never expected her to do any of this, but I'm also not surprised.

[Jolie40]

sorry for your loss!

[Big Bear]

I hung up and the blocked her on my cell.

D.Dan,

It sounds like this has been a difficult time for you the past few weeks.  I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with the grief of your loss and all of this other stuff going on at the same time.  Well done on establishing a strong boundary.  Blocking a number on a phone is a simple, yet strong way to establish healthy boundaries.  I had to block my FIL's number during a particularly difficult season.  Stay strong!  You can make it!

Sincerely,
Big Bear

[nanotech]

Hugs hugs hugs D.Dan. I'm so sorry for your loss xxxxx