One week

[losingmyself]

Yes! Maybe I will have to change my nickname!  I know it'll take time, but I am already daydreaming of how life is going to be. Something I haven't done for a long time. I think it's HOPE. I believe I lost it there for a while.

[SonofThunder]

Yes! Maybe I will have to change my nickname!  I know it'll take time, but I am already daydreaming of how life is going to be. Something I haven't done for a long time. I think it's HOPE. I believe I lost it there for a while.

+1. This is great!  Great to read all is is going as planned enough to allow you hope and freedom to daydream!  Daydream short, medium and long range goals. Design the short range to feed the medium and long, and design the the medium to also feed the long. Start living your short range daydreams asap losingmyself!

SoT

[losingmyself]

It's been a week since I left.
I feel better already. 
I don't even miss him. I almost feel guilty about that. Almost...
I was driving today alone, and thinking of what he would be saying,  criticizing me every step of the way. It was so nice to not have that voice going on and on. So peaceful!
I feel better already

[SonofThunder]

It's been a week since I left.
I feel better already. 
I don't even miss him. I almost feel guilty about that. Almost...
I was driving today alone, and thinking of what he would be saying,  criticizing me every step of the way. It was so nice to not have that voice going on and on. So peaceful!
I feel better already

Fantastic update!  Congratulations on making additional freedom and peace for yourself. 👏

SoT

[losingmyself]

I am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do.
Including all my friends here at Out of the FOG.
I'm sort of in limbo right now. Waiting for another week and a half, till hopefully I can go home. I miss my home! And my cat 🐈
I was wrong about him not hiring a lawyer.  That's very frustrating and I am just waiting for a counter offer. Can't imagine what it's going to be that would be better than what I offered.  We'll see. The only thing I can think of is some game of his to get me to sell my house. Not gonna happen.I hate this waiting. I'm sure it'll come on the last day available. 
On the good news front, I have been very much enjoying time with my kids, we went out to supper, my DD bought a car, we laughed and joked freely without filters! I love them so much! Tomorrow we're going to play trivia!
And I have been spending more time talking to my family.  I missed them all so much. My S and brother in law have been so gracious opening up their home to me and making me comfortable, I'll be forever grateful!
One more thing that I never would have done before, that I just went and did..I reached out to a person that I know, who I used to see often, sort of explained where I disappeared to, and said that I would love to visit, maybe over a drink sometime. This is a thing that I never would have done before! I figured the worse that would happen is that she would ignore the message. I heard back from her, and she was so happy that I reached out! She had been thinking about texting me, but didn't know if she should! So, yay, me! I have a friend!
Lots of rambling here, seems like I'm just waiting, but I guess I am moving forward!

[SonofThunder]

Hi losingmyself,

Glad to read this update and thank you friend, for taking the time to bring us comrades up to speed on your journey! 

You stated you were frustrated to learn there was another attorney and you were waiting on a counter-offer. I want to encourage you in both patience & flexibility in the legal proceedings but also continued focus on your freedom, hope and joy. 

In my time and reading here at Out of the FOG, I learned to expect a PD to always be a PD.  Therefore, I will expect desired covert-manipulation, control and punishment attempts, and the PD's thrill of doing so, even to their loss of some of their own material possessions or time.  My stbx is willing to pay to enjoy these types of things, that are enhanced by the law and a lawyer.  I expect it, and am counting it as part of the costs I must bear in the truth-war, in order for me to gain freedom.  You may end up surprised at how a lawyer will motivate your stbx. 

Therefore, now that your stbx is lawyered, he had a paid legal ally.  That ally makes more money the longer the procedure takes to complete.  Imo, the PD understands they cannot force us non's back into the marriage union, so why not use the law and a lawyer, to punish the departed non as much as possible on the way out, providing a feed for the PD since their target-host departed.   

Imo, what the self-focused-motive PD doesn't understand is there is no attempted punishment methods that are greater than the non's new freedom, hope and joy.  No matter the cost of the proceedings, my freedom, hope and joy are of greater value!! Thats Golden! Therefore, I will focus on the greater value items, which in doing so, has a way of nullifying every PD attempt to thwart my goals.

An entire truth war campaign is constructed of many smaller battles; some won, some lost, but we press on.  My experience with PD's is that time is really not on their side, because time has a way of exposing truth, and truth and law combined, imo, eventually wins the war.  Some truths are revealed at a low cost and some high.  I will not focus on the cost, because that allows the PD to control a large portion of my focus.  I will focus on truth, freedom and joy in a steady forward movement in each small battle, in order to succeed in the larger campaign.

You wrote of the new joys as well and those are so much greater value than anything your PD is focused upon, such as an offer.  You may not get a counter; you may get a delay tactic, while your stbx and the lawyer conjure up some attempt to drag out your divorce. 

Please continue my friend, to focus on the golden, priceless hope and joy in your new freedom, such as those you mentioned in your update. Expect the unexpected. 

SoT

[losingmyself]

Thank you, SOT, for reminding me that my freedom is greater than any waiting game he might play! You're absolutely right!
I have been enjoying my life, while he busies himself with hateful ways to get back at me for exposing him. This is what I needed to get away from. His belief that everyone is out to get him. I have just become his focus right now, but that's not my life. It's his.
I am reminded often that it's just a couple weeks, maybe a month out of the rest of my life. I can't wait to settle and get started with the calm, peaceful life I dream of.
I'm not going to fight to my last penny to save my house, but I won't give it up to him easily. I will fight this battle. I think it's worth it. If I move out of that house, it will be because of a decision I make all on my own.
Life is good