Introduction

[Bigdella2000]

Found this website a couple years ago .I just registered today.figured out so many answers to why my wife is the way she is.blpd  been trough about 15 years is intense verbal and physical abuse.She snaps in a second. We have three sons and I do my best to help them understand that they aren't really the ones in the wrong when she snaps at them.i not really thinking much about what I'm saying so I'm just kind of rambling on. I don't think things can get much worse at this point.im a private person in serious need of someone I can trust. Hope I can get some guidance. Not sure my wife is capable of empathy or even true love. She use to care but now she seems uncapable.we hardly communicate  because any thing can andwill provoke her and I do my best to keep my kids with having to witness her violent outburts.Ive been married to her for 20 years and I'm getting really tired . I was diagnosed with sever PTSD two years ago from trauma inflicted by her,but the event to place over a decade ago.Its hard to remember what happy even feels like.For now I'm greatful just to survive to make it another day.

[SonofThunder]

Hello Bigdella2000,

A very warm welcome to Out of the FOG!  So glad you registered and introduced yourself.  Sorry to read that you have struggled for 20 years in marriage to your wife.  There are many here, including myself, who are/were married for decades to a PD.  You are not alone in your experiences.

We all here at Out of the FOG walk these difficult trails together. Each forum board is like a campsite along the trail to rest and join in meaningful and caring discussion.  We always leave vacant chairs around the campfires, so please relax your tired feet, grab one of those empty chair and make yourself at home!

Also, you mentioned PTSD.  If you are not familiar, there is also a companion website related to c-ptsd (link is at bottom of this reply).  Again welcome and see you around the boards.

SoT

https://www.outofthestorm.website/

[bloomie]

Bigdella2000 - hello and welcome.

I am glad you officially have joined the conversations here at Out of the FOG. There is something unique about this community and seeing such similar patterns of behaviors experienced by others with their loved ones as you will find here. We would never wish the struggle of living with a disordered family member or in a toxic family system on anyone, but finding a community that understands is a way to lighten a weary load.

You most likely have read through the forum over the years, but I wanted to suggest taking a look though the drop down resources at the banner above and to encourage you to begin sharing out on the forum boards. It sounds like you have talked with someone who was able to see the impact of trauma in this relationship and hopefully you are building a support network around yourself with in real life support, a few trusted friends, possibly a spiritual advisor or faith community, and a mentor type person. I found I needed all of those things along with my time here to begin to gain ground and stability.

You are positioning yourself toward hope, recovery, health, and healing by reaching out. Thank  you for trusting us with a small screen shot of the bigger picture and the struggle this relationship has become. I look forward to supporting you and seeing you out there on the boards!