Word salads

[RiverPurl]

I recently learned what word salad was.

I remember a few years ago engaging with my sister and the messages she was sending me and I was being polite and respectful and giving her what she was looking for - explainations and apologies but it wasn't enough. She rejected it and twisted it and then began to twist words and warp things. At that point I decided that the connection between us was done and done and over and over.  No more.  I realised that what she's going through is her own feelings and I can't fix this. I think that twisted circle is word salad.

She kept her abusive campaign up for years on and off against me.

Over the weekend I came across something where she was starting it up again. She wrote her woes online looking for advice and this time she wanted to learn about a legal route against me.  One reply saw through her and told her off and he was kind and respectful and said a few things but also being respectful about it. He or she pointed out to her that she conveniently forgot to mention how the original argument occurred and the one she's referring to about legal action occurred 10 years ago.  He told her that she was told many times to go and seek therapy. This is coming from a stranger online and other strangers also can read through her posts. She didn't like it and she replied back saying - 'how can you get someone into therapy when they have consistently refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing and they believe they did nothing wrong'.  Likely referring to me.

Hang on a second.  Going by her response her current position is to get her sister, me into therapy.

Therapy is supposed to be for oneself and to work on your own stuff.  Why is she trying to turn this onto me.

We haven't seen each other in years but her focus is still on me.

Also I know where I went wrong but I would never dare approach her when she's so hostile all she will do in interrogate me.

[SonofThunder]

Purl,

You are describing many PD behaviors. Word-salad, circular-arguing, gaslighting, manipulation and so on.  PD's need an emotional host, as they cannot successfully host their own.  There is an Out of the FOG member (trees?) who likened a PD to a tick. That is an excellent and accurate analogy, as the tick thrives from the supply of it's host and once the host removes the tick, the tick either implodes or finds a new host.  Believe me, the tick blames the host always and desires to stay covertly connected to the bloodline.

Not certain if you have visited the YouTube channel of Dr Ramani, but I highly recommend you visit the link (below), which is her series on understanding traits and their terminology.

You are well not to approach your sister on these subjects. Ever.

SoT

Dr. Ramani: Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj

[RiverPurl]

She was advised to go into therapy and she replied back say - how does she grt someone to go into therapy who refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing - referring to me.

I am utterly astonished with what she replied back. Therapy is supposed to be for her and to help her over come this. It also tells me that she is no where near trying to overcome any of this and she will continue on the current path that she is on. 

[RiverPurl]

Purl,

You are describing many PD behaviors. Word-salad, circular-arguing, gaslighting, manipulation and so on.  PD's need an emotional host, as they cannot successfully host their own.  There is an Out of the FOG member (trees?) who likened a PD to a tick. That is an excellent and accurate analogy, as the tick thrives from the supply of it's host and once the host removes the tick, the tick either implodes or finds a new host.  Believe me, the tick blames the host always and desires to stay covertly connected to the bloodline.

Not certain if you have visited the YouTube channel of Dr Ramani, but I highly recommend you visit the link (below), which is her series on understanding traits and their terminology.

You are well not to approach your sister on these subjects. Ever.

SoT

Dr. Ramani: Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj

Thanks for this. This is so true. I often referred to my sister as a flea.  Someone who's hopping from one to the next and back to the other. A tick is the also another description.

A tick and tick bite is so appropriate too due to the potential for disease left behind. I'm not saying I am disebased but definitely breaking.

Thanks for the link. I will check it out later.

[InvisibleDaughter]

I've never heard of the term Word Salads but it fits what my NPD Mom does with our conversations.

Are you connected to her on Facebook? I know you mentioned seeing something online. I unfriended my Mom years ago and never looked back. She can be so nasty and mean in private and then plays the victim online.

Have you thought about not following what she has to say? It's truly freeing when you know you can't fix anything and start freeing yourself from the drama.