Advice, or rather validation, needed

[easterncappy]

I am using voice to text to type this so I apologize for any typos. We've had several extremely expensive problems pop up in the past couple of weeks with our house, my daughter is teething and thus neither of us are sleeping, and my mind is just all over the place. I can't think straight at all right now.

My dad died almost 2 months ago. The way I found out was by my mom showing up to my house uninvited, and I needed to call the police on her twice that day. And one more time to confirm what they were trying to tell me which is at my dad died. For those who don't know the story. I didn't even believe her due to her history of lying.

The police officer told her to not contact me ever again. Today I get a phone call from her and I let it go to voicemail. The voicemail she left says that there is something she needs to discuss with me that affects my future, and she sounds extremely sad in it.

That all being said, my husband thinks she is just doing another attention grab. However, I am extremely curious what she's talking about. Although I also believe largely that it could very well just be an attention grab.

When I think about it, we don't really have anything in common legally. No shared accounts, I've been taken off of her lease, there is absolutely no asset or anything like that that we have together. The only possible thing I could think of is a house in another country that I am to inherit once all of my grandparents and both of my parents die. I highly doubt that came up and I also just don't care about the house. Maybe her immigration papers? But they would just contact me about that.

What do you guys think? Is it worth contacting her back? Or is she almost definitely just trying to get my attention?

Thank you

[notrightinthehead]

She has already grabbed your attention.  You are thinking, wondering, and writing about it. Your curiosity is awakened. So now your choices are

- find out more and possibly realize its nothing, just a fart in the wind, by getting in touch
- deny yourself to find out more and spend even more mental energy on wondering what it could be.

Whatever you choose to do, re-visit boundaries, medium chill, and a good thought stopping routine. Allow yourself some relaxation practices during your day, even if they are only 5 minutes long.

Good luck and let us know what you find out. I am now curious too.

[SonofThunder]

Hi easterncappy,

My initial reaction is that if its anything future that requires a lawyer to settle because a legal estate document already exists, you will be contacted in the legal process of estate settlement by the correct person (not your mother). 

You wrote:

"... that I am to inherit once all of my grandparents and both of my parents die."

If that inheritance you expect is not already in a legal document, then imo, your mother may use that inheritance idea you are considering, for attempted manipulation of you. Therefore either way (legal estate docs exists or does not), I would not be contacting her. I have been manipulated in the past by my father who used a clever setup to back me into a difficult corner in business.  Now that I am educated on PD's, thinking back, I can see his PD skilled setup for manipulation and control using that clever setup. 

Therefore imo, your mother is just baiting you for more drama as PD's motives are all about self.  If you called the police twice prior, there is probably a police record of the prior incident regarding her. Therefore your mother is willing to violate the police officer's warning and risk another call by you to the police, which may bring up the prior incident record. 

Are you able to have her phone number blocked by either your device or the carrier? 

Hope you get some better sleep in the near future.  Enjoy that precious little one!

SoT

[Leonor]

Hi Eastern,

"Attention Grab in Aisle Four!"

"Houston, We Have an Attention Grab."

"God bless you, and God bless this Attention Grab."

"Want Attention Grab with that?"

"Good morning, folks, this is your Attention Grab speaking."

Eastern, you are the only person who can affect your future.

Maybe it is curious ... But then again, you're in a sleep deprived, stressed out, new mommy state.

Don't worry about the future. Take care of yourself today.

[Cat of the Canals]

My PDmil did this repeatedly after my husband's brother died. She'd leave cryptic voicemails and texts about "needing information" or "wanting his opinion." She'd never say WHAT. That would be too easy. Too straightforward. Too considerate.

So he'd dutifully call, and she'd say, "I need to know what you want to do about the funeral." And then in the next sentence, she'd reveal she'd already set everything up. There was no question. She didn't need anything from him. And in fact, the one thing he specifically requested, she completely ignored.

In once case, she actually pretty much admitted it was a ploy (she's not a very good manipulator), when she told him, "Well, I've been TRYING to get you to call me..."

So yeah, add one more vote to "It's a trap!"

[Srcyu]

She is spinning out silken threads to entrap you with.
If you respond, you are throwing away the willingness of the police to deal with her.

It's a TRAP.

Resist or regret.
Anything important would get through to you by other avenues.


milly

[monamurre]

This was my stepmother's go to move. She managed our retirement account so she was able to yank our chain a few times. About the time my husband was establishing no contact she came up with a slew of "important issues" she needed to discuss with us. In our case none of them were anything of consequence, nor things that required conversations.

I would also add that I have settled two estates and there is no reason that an executor has to talk to any of the heirs. The probate process requires that legal documents be mailed to all heirs, that is all. So unless she didn't have an address for you (which she obviously did) then I don't think it could be anything to do with your father's estate or will.

My condolences about your dad and the recent drama around his passing. Even with complicated relationships these events can take a toll.

[Liketheducks]

Golly, it sounds very much like an attention grab to me and I haven't seen your whole story.    She's been told by the police not to contact you.   If it was anyone else in those circumstances, and there was a legitimate "future" issue....don't you think they'd leave a detailed message about what the issue might be?   Or have whoever is legally handling things reach out to you?    It sounds dramatic.