Low emotional intelligence?

[InvisibleDaughter]

I was in counseling for awhile due to childhood emotional trauma. My therapist understood what I dealt with and told me my Mom had NPD. I started reading everything I could on the topic and its helped. I now know what I'm up against, so I'm not baited anymore. This website has helped make me feel like I'm not alone.

A friend brought up the topic of Low emotional intelligence. I did some reading on it, and personally it sounds like most ppl who have NPD would also display low emotional intelligence. Has anyone else heard of this?

Whatever the diagnosis is, my Mom is on the hamster wheel of hating me and telling me how poorly I treat her (in her mind) I'm going LC again before I have a nervous breakdown.

[bloomie]

InvisibleDaughter - I have heard of low Emotional Intelligence and have also observed it. It is easy to spot and knowing there are those who struggle in this way has helped me to adjust my expectations that I can make any headway in resolving issues or coming to agreements with them.

Whatever the diagnosis is, my Mom is on the hamster wheel of hating me and telling me how poorly I treat her (in her mind) I'm going LC again before I have a nervous breakdown.

Perfect analogy -  a hamster wheel going nowhere all day long! Very wise to step back to a level of contact that allows you to maintain your mental and emotional health!

[Blueberry Pancakes]

I have also read about low emotional intelligence, and made some connections in my own mind to behaviors I have seen from those in my FOO. I find it interesting to read about.

I think it can be somewhat puzzling when you feel like as your parent's child, you may have a higher emotional intelligence than them. I guess it is not dependent on age. Perhaps it is personal perspective and ability to regulate emotions, or self-governance. I think there is perhaps also a bit of being able to fill gaps on what is not spoken. I have thought some of what I see of myself as having a higher EQ than my FOO may come from skills developed to just stay above water as the family scapegoat. Those skills were not needed for everyone.

[Big Bear]

I would agree that people with NPD have a low level of emotional intelligence.  They seem to lack the ability to experience empathy with others.  They also often lack the ability to regulate their emotions in a healthy way.  I think of this as primarily a deficiency.  It's like their emotional development got stalled at some point early on in their life.  It is quite simply rather tragic and hurtful for anyone who gets in the way.

Big Bear