bPD/antisocial personality disorder, grandparents

[djcleo]

My grandparents were extremely abusive.  I always thought I got away unscathed due to how my parents fought for us to be safe.

But I finally have to dig into my own trauma. I experience cognitive dissonance. I miss my mom. But in some ways with "fleas" I picked up some anxiety and also pushing my own feelings away until exploding.

How is this spiritual? It's tough because I believe in talking to loved ones even if they're passed away.

[1footouttadefog]

It's a messy mix of thoughts memories and emotions that come along when we examine the PD realities of our families of origin.

Just know that while it hurts now and may seem confusing or unsettling and like your foundations are less stable, that it usually leads to healing and understanding and being  stronger than before processing it all. 

Sorry you are having to go through it, but it can be so much better on the other side.