Seven years after divorce: no regrets

[Poison Ivy]

Short version (I might expand later): I spent the weekend with my adult children and my ex-husband out of state, for our younger child's graduate school commencement. I was glad my ex came out of his "cave" to attend, but I have no regrets about splitting from him. His concerning and negative behaviors and traits have only worsened since the divorce. He might have fared better if we'd stayed together, but I didn't and don't want to be married to someone who claims to need another person to take care of them and allow them to function relatively normally.

[Palepinkpeony]

What a gift it must've been for you to have that validation. It sounds like you took care of you and made the choice to learn and bravely change your life for the better! 

[Poison Ivy]

Thank you, Palepinkpenny. I don't think I'm perfect, but I do think I'm doing reasonably well as a parent, a divorced person, and an adult generally.

[Poison Ivy]

Thanks, user. I had been worried that my ex wouldn't show, and that mostly outweighed my concerns about being with him. I confess that there were a few times when I had to tell myself (in my head), "I will not say anything about this [weird behavior]."

[StartingHealing]

thanks for the update  Poison Ivy.

I'm still in the stage of getting the financial stuff straightened out.  Court stuff is sucky, you know?

Reading posts like yours helps me a great deal in keeping on keepin on.

The exBPD, while she never verbally claimed to require to be taken care of (because she was such a strong and independent person you know? (tongue in cheek) her behaviors said otherwise.

Been a year of NC from the exBPD and it's been so wonderful.

Wishing you all the best