Teen daughter BPD

[MomInTheHouse]

I think I found a great place. I didn't know the G in Fog was for Guilt and now I am crying again. I cry a lot these days. My 13 year old daughter was found to have BPD in May while being hospitalized for self harm and suicidal thoughts. She was home for about 3 weeks and now shes back in. She started STEPPS 3 weeks ago. The first week, she screamed and cried and yelled at staff and me afterwards. Didn't remember it the next day. Last week, she threatened herself so I hospitalized her so that I could make my house safer. This week, hospital staff will take her and then take her back to her unit. I will be meeting with staff during that time to plan her discharge. I feel like I am so overwhelmed all the time. I feel guilty for poor parenting choices although the therapist tells me I made the same decisions any parent would make and I didn't cause her BPD. I need to know I am not alone.

[xredshoesx]

i am so sorry you are dealing with this.  i can't even imagine how difficult it was to try to get her help in the first place- an issue we have in my region is NO BEDS available for serious issues and children have been put in a special area in the locked juvenile facility until something opens up.

i need you to keep reminding yourself daily NOTHING YOU DID OR DIDN'T DO CAUSED THIS.  i hope you are getting some respite for yourself and taking care of your needs- even if that means getting your own therapist or talking to your GP about other alternatives to help you cope with the stress- 

again- IT'S NOT YOU.  You didn't make her like this.  take care of you- you can't help her if your own oxygen mask isn't on.

when you are ready to share more we're listening. 

[brokenheartedmom]

You're not alone and you're doing a great job in keeping your daughter safe and getting the help she needs.
My son was hospitalized at age four with bipolar, adhd and oppositional defiance disorder. He was trouble through out his school years and had to go to alternative schools. Some teachers and therapists would make it to be my fault. I still have to remind myself that I did everything I could to teach him the right way to live. I didn't cause his mental illness. You didn't cause your daughter's either.