He moved out!

[losingmyself]

After reading escapingman's post I feel like good things are happening today!
After weeks of just sitting here not knowing when I would be able to go back to my beloved home, I got an email saying that he moved out!
And just like that, I'm home! I know there's a long way to go, but I will be stronger doing it from my home, in my home town!
I'm so happy!

[Poison Ivy]

Hurray!

[square]

Great news!!

[SonofThunder]

Well yes I agree, today is a day of good news! Congratulations to you losingmyself!

SoT

[notrightinthehead]

How wonderful!

[escapingman]

Fantastic, huge congratulations to you!

[losingmyself]

I have been home for 5 days now.  I am loving being in my home! I have been cleaning and clearing out a lot of junk. He left a mess. Took way more than he should have, and now we're having a contested divorce because he's just not understanding how things work, I guess. I had to borrow more money from my sister as a retainer. I am so lucky to have my family!
I do need advice from my friends here, though.  I have heard that he's telling people he has no idea what happened.  Why I left. He throws out ideas to people, like DD split us apart. But I really think he honestly doesn't know why I want a divorce,  or why we're split up. I haven't spoken to him, and I didn't say anything in my note when I left. I figured he knew. Is it just because he isn't going to admit bad behavior to people? Or does he really not know?
I thought about writing a letter and getting it to him, somehow.  Then he can have answers.  I don't know.  It does bring on the guilt though.  What should I do?

[escapingman]

Losingmyself, it's his reality and he believes it. I have got to understand that my exewife really believes I am the bad one and she hasn't done anything wrong. It's easier to just leave them be and let them believe what they want, we will never get them to see that they caused it. You have done the hardest bit now, only deal with him through the legals and ignore the rest.

[square]

What EM said.

Believe me, he is not curious about why you left.

I assume he has a vague idea deep down, but if he was willing to take that out and examine it, you likely would not have had to leave.

Even if a PD knows damn well why, they certainly aren't going to tell othef people.

So just leave this alone.

[SonofThunder]

Losingmyself, PD's must be the 🔺role of victim. You must be smeared as the 🔺persecutor because two people cant share the same role.  Let it go.

You are the 🔺persecutor always.  You know the truth. Those that already know the truth are all that matters. Ever. 

Let his emotional boat of 💩 untie from your dock and float downstream and around the bend. It will be a boatload of shit the entire time. You look upstream for the beautiful boat of peace that is coming around the bend, and securely tie that to your dock. 

SoT

[losingmyself]

Ok. You're right, he'll never see it. He might know the truth but he'll never cop to it. Or he doesn't.  Not my responsibility.  I filed a temporary possession order today, has to go through the judge and that'll take a few weeks, but as for right now,  everything is mine, until he returns my things that he wasn't supposed to take. He's going to flip a lid!I do look over my shoulder a lot when I'm at home, but I can call the sheriff.
Thanks for the advice everyone!

[losingmyself]

I am home. I have spent the day working my butt off, cleaning, mowing, moving stuff. I am exhausted but so at peace.
Thursday he made me an offer accepting my initial petition, but adding me giving him a settlement for the house.
I reminded his lawyer that I said I wouldn't make any kind of deal until I get my family heirlooms back. And he's already removed more than his possessions. He also owes me money for things he sold.
So...pass.
It makes me a little nervous,  but I'm not giving in. I want my stuff back.
But I am in a battle and I'm not going to lose.