Relationship Between Trauma, PDs, and the Demonic

[gcj07a]

Hey all--I didn't see a recent thread on this topic so thought I would start a new one.

For context: I am a devout Christian in the Anglican Church. I am also a firm believer in spiritual warfare. I have had a number of experiences over the years that I can only explain as demonically influenced. In the worst case, my priest performed a minor exorcism of my house. I also deeply value and trust the insights of psychology. I certainly don't see demons hiding under every bush. But I do have some thoughts:

1) As a child, I was regularly terrorized with nightmares that Satan and his demons would emerge from the floor of my room and drag me to Hell.

2) Ever since I can remember, I have regularly had nightmares of black shadows with red eyes chasing me. Sometimes they talk to me in my nightmares (or occasionally when drifting between wakefulness and sleep) and suggest I kill or harm myself.

3) There have been times during moments of severe stress that a full blown terror or dread sweeps over me and I see shadows out of the corners of my eye. They disappear before I can take a closer look.

4) I have had two different moments of sleep paralysis and, both times, I sensed the presence of an evil entity.

5) When I was a kid, my mother (my abuser) would transition between her regular face and what I called the witch face. The skin on her face would go taught and her eyes would become totally black and her bones would protrude weirdly and she would just smile at me in the most evil manner possible. Once when I confronted her about the witch face when I was an adult, she denied any knowledge of it. And then, in that moment, she shifted into the witch face and then right back out of it.

I regularly ask God for spiritual protection. I also make use of a number of blessed sacramentals (including crucifixes and icons) in various places in my home. I also regularly invoke St. Michael the Archangel, The Blessed Virgin Mary, and St. Benedict of Nursia to intercede on my behalf.

Often the flashbacks I experience are tinged with a terror that goes beyond the remembered abuse to something deeper and more primal.

It wouldn't surprise me if my mother is possessed or severely oppressed by demons. She had a horrendous childhood and tons of trauma. She developed BPD as a response.

Fr. Carlos Martins (a Roman Catholic exorcist) in his podcast (not for the faint of heart) talks about how demons often exploit trauma to influence people. Anyhow, I am discussing all of this with my therapist, psychiatrist, and priest as well. I just wanted y'all's input.

[SeaBreeze]

I personally have to tread this topic with care, as my uNPD mother also suffered schizoaffective disorder, and some of her behaviors and instability were tied to religious delusions. But... I truly believe in generational strongholds.

There's scientific evidence that trauma rewires DNA and affects future offspring. From the psychological perspective, we have repeating cycles of family dysfunction that often prompt debates of nature vs nurture (I think it's both.) Substance abuse and addictive behaviors can run in families, and studies show a genetic predisposition as much as an environmental influence. Abuse, anger, mental illness, personality disorders, and suicide run in families, cycling and feeding and repeating each other.

So, from a more spiritual or esoteric approach, I personally believe in demonic attachment, and that these demons can attach to families and carry over from one generation to the next. And that we are attracted to PDs, as much as PDs are drawn to us, as these demons seek to wage war against us. Again, there are actually scientific as well as psychological explanations behind these generational patterns, but I personally feel those can tie in with spiritual influences as well.

Due to my family background with schizophrenia, I am VERY cautious not to get too wrapped up in the esoteric, non-science, non-medical side of things. It could set a dangerous precedent otherwise. But I will say... Prayer and spiritual protection has *personally* helped me as much as reading books written by educated experts or commiserating here at Out of the FOG. With that being said, I wish my mother, and her mother before her,  had sought treatment and medication from licensed professionals for their issues, like some of their descendants have successfully done.