If only it would stick...

[OddFamily]

Bit of a vent and an update and a question all in one.
So grandma's being a worse obstacle than a pile of quicksand. Now she wants independent living, but there's no way in heck she can physically manage that. Not when she's pulling her "Oh I fell twice oh I'm so weak" routine. And that makes you qualified for independent living how? 
The worst is I'm having to keep the house running here. I don't mind, but feeling the pressure to get everything done, dad's getting a chore list tonight, and it's a bad time as I have a certifying exam to study for. Problem is the way mom's been communicating with me is she's frustrated with grandma but is not willing to push back on bad behavior as hard as it needs to be pushed back on. I've pushed back extremely hard, so has dad, but mom keeps mollycoddling her, dad's words, not mine, even though we all know grandma won't face uncomfortable facts. Mom's communication is coming across as "You are not a priority, you will always be second fiddle (maybe) to your grandmother". It's a particularly unpalatable revelation, and some folks did forecast it, so how do you move on from that?

[moglow]

Mo's suggestion: Request evaluation and recommendation from professionals, and go from there. You're [you, being the family] too close to see clearly what's taking place and she's not going to listen to "just family" because she doesn't have to. They need objective eyes on it, someone who can and will make and implement appropriate level of care. Anything less and it's all a big game of what if and if only.

Is that unreasonable? Can your mom step out of and go along with it?

[Cat of the Canals]

The worst is I'm having to keep the house running here. I don't mind, but feeling the pressure to get everything done, dad's getting a chore list tonight, and it's a bad time as I have a certifying exam to study for.

Does keeping the house running mean picking up your mom's slack while she deals with grandma? If so: quit picking up the slack. If mom wants to stay stuck in the quicksand with grandma, that's her prerogative. Not yours. She doesn't get to drag you down with her.