He signed! Also, bad news

[losingmyself]

Hello, all you beautiful people! Yesterday I got a call from my lawyer's assistant telling me he signed my petition! He tried to fight for a settlement on the house, but I stood my ground.  So as soon as the judge signs it, we're officially divorced! He ended up signing a close version of my original petition, but since he messed around, he didn't even get all of that. He just spent money on lawyer fees.
Now for the bad news...
For the last few weeks, I had been having pain in my hip. So much that I was using a walker. Last Sunday I lost my balance and tipped over, and heard a 'pop'.
I broke my hip. Turns out, the cancer had been eating away at my bones, which it does, until it was so weak, it broke. So, now I'm in a rehab facility with a new hip, trying to get strong enough to go home. Unfortunately,  my nephew's wedding is next Friday,  and it's 6 hours away. I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm very very sad about that. But, I'm doing alright.
The last 5 months have gone by so fast, and so peacefully,  I can't even describe it! I am at so much peace! Thank you all for standing by me and giving me the courage to find this new life!

[Poison Ivy]

Oh, dear. I'm happy for you about the divorce news, and sending you best wishes for a full recovery from the broken hip.

[SonofThunder]

Losingmyself,

Im so very sorry to read of the broken hip!  Your post reads of a successful surgery and steady rehab.  I will be keeping you in thought and prayer.  A huge congrats on the petition! Such strength holding your ground!  Way to go Losingmyself! Im also joyed to read about your peacefulness, and in my own experiences, I cannot put a value on the peace. Such a gift!

Hoping the nephew chose wisely!

SoT

[losingmyself]

Thank you SOT and Poisonivy!
I am recovering quickly. Modern medicine is amazing!
SOT, he chose a wonderful, smart, funny,  beautiful woman! We couldn't be happier for him and his family.
And I have been given the go-ahead to attend!

[Poison Ivy]

I'm glad you can go to the wedding!

[escapingman]

Great news about him signing, that's worth a celebration. I am sorry to hear about your hip but glad it is healing well! Enjoy the wedding!

[losingmyself]

Just an update.  I am officially divorced! There's still a lot to do, with mortgage and changing my name back to my maiden name, etc. But I'm home and healing.  I have been going to work, and doing what I can.  Every day I feel less pain, and stronger.  It's difficult because I have so much to do but I'm physically not able to. XH has 60 days to remove the rest of his belongings from my property, and I didn't say that he had to let me know when he's going to show up, so he's just here, randomly, loading up trailers full of stuff. It causes me a lot of anxiety when he's here, and I just hide in the house until he leaves. I don't even like to see him.
Am I lonely? Sometimes.
Am I sad and angry? Sometimes,  too.
Sad because I won't have a partner in this time in my life. Probably not ever again.  Angry that he took that away from me. He fooled me. And he took away my time with my kids. All those years while they were growing up. I missed it because of him.
So I'm happy, really.  Soon I'll be able to get back to cleaning up my yard, and painting my house, and decorating it the way I want. But I think the healing is just going to get started.  Maybe it's because I spent so much time shoving my feelings down, that I had become numb. I think I'm allowing myself to feel..just anything. There's a lot to process.
Anyway, I hope everyone is well. I think about you all here at Out of the FOG often and wonder how you're coming along in your healing.  This site opened my eyes to what was happening in my life, and helped me see that I'm not alone, and gave me strength to open up to my family and my IRL support system.  Thank you all so much for that.
I also have a relationship with my kids now, that I didn't have before. I can't change the past, but I can give them all of me from now on!

[SonofThunder]

Hi LosingMyself!

A huge congratulations to you on obtaining your legal divorce! Well done!!  Glad to read your update and prayerful thoughts for steady progress on your goals. 

SoT

[notrightinthehead]

Congratulations and best wishes for your continued recovery. May the healing of your soul continue. I am so happy to read that you feel connected with your kids and extended family again.

[escapingman]

A big congratulations!

I too had feelings of anger towards my ex for stealing so many years of my life, I am still sad that she is still ruining my relationship with one of my daughters. But the anger is more or less gone, I now accept what happened and what is still happening. It took a lot of work to get to this point, but I am finally feeling the chapter with her is in the past and I will stay NC* with her forever.

*With shared children it is obviously impossible with complete NC but as close as it can be.

I would like to add I am amazed of how quick you got him out the house and to get the divorce done. You are showing true strength, well done.

[losingmyself]

Thanks, everyone! I pray for all of our continued healing!
I felt a little guilty about going NC, but now realize it's the only way forward