Addiction to feelings?

[StartingHealing]

Greetings to all the brave souls here.

Sometimes the way things come together in life brings insights. 

I've found several podcasters that I listen to on the regular and over the last few days the subjects of the ones I listened to have created something that may explain some things. 

OK. I may not have all the particulars down. However, brain neurons that fire together wire together, and that creates a neural net about everything that you interact with in your daily life.  Then these patterns get to habitual thing.  Each time one of these nets fire, there is a release of neural biologics that we process as a feeling or emotion.  The feeling or emotion is then feeding the body a certain mix of other biologics that we then process.  Yeah kind of circular.

Because of this feedback loop, the physical body can get "used to" a certain mix of biologics. For you coffee people (like me) try to reduce the coffee consumed. Not comfortable. Over time the physical then habituates to the biologics created by a certain mix of emotional states.

Then even though it's not on the conscious level, when the level of biologics get to low in the body, then signals are sent to the subconscious which then perks that into certain behavior patterns so the net result is that behaviors happen that create a certain emotional state which then feeds the body that mix of biologics.

To me that helps explain why the detox from a PD can be so frigging difficult.  It appears to me that this is an addictive pattern, and there are times that kicking an addiction is brutal. It also gives credence to why going NC, to change your playground and playthings, engage in self development, because there are multiple levels of things going on, not only the change in thinking, change in neural nets, change in biologics released, and teaching the body through the biologics for a new way of being.

I would like all of y'all thoughts on this.

Peace

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

Some of my reflections have been on my relationship patterns.  I felt like I had to earn my mother's love...so naturally, earning a PD's love felt "normal" to me.  This all probably fit into my brain patterns, behavioral patterns, etc...   

In college I dated this very nice fellow student.  He was smart, kind, thoughtful, etc....  but he didn't have the fire like the other man I choose - yeah, I choose a future alcoholic/PD characteristic man.  It's a shame that I couldn't see the value of other men, but I needed drama and rejection to feel connected.  No more!!!!!

[xredshoesx]

i think with my ex (and my mother) i was addicted to the DRAMA cycle of it all.  once i started seeing how unhealthy that was for me it was easier to recognize and not get enmeshed.  i test this at work constantly with a boundary of saying no whenever i need to and keeping low contact with toxic coworkers.