Not missing anything

[InvisibleDaughter]

Sept 15th marks 2 months of NC with my NPD Mom. Our last interaction was through a text.

She was on a hurtful rant about how much she knows that I don't love her and she's done with all the BS. All I've done is start setting boundaries, and not tolerating her.

I made a reply that she doesn't act like any Christians I know.

The saddest part is I don't miss a thing. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. No more mind games and being spoken down too.

I'm trying to not think about the Holidays. Last year I didn't attend a Christmas party, I chose instead to serve at Church. I just didn't want to be around her, all smiles and pretending.

[moglow]

I feel ya - when mine goes silent (which is anytime I don't reach out to her first, or when I missed some random anniversary she thinks I should recognize) I don't miss it. I don't miss her with the complaints and negativity and chaos. 

She was on a hurtful rant about how much she knows that I don't love her and she's done with all the BS. 

All designed to provoke a snappy response so she can See?! That's exactly what I mean!! and feel all justified in herself. How they can't see what it's really doing is beyond me. 

We're here with you

[Hilltop]

Hey InvisibleDaughter I can so relate.  I also feel like the weight has lifted off me since I have gone NC.  I went NC around the same time as you. I have in the past taken some time outs and felt guilt and angst over it but for some reason this time I don't, I just feel relief.  I feel peaceful.

I found the pretending to be exhausting.  I think having that wall up around my mother all the time was so draining and so for now I don't want to waste that energy trying to protect myself in her presence when I can do it more easily in NC.

I'm glad you are going well.