Mythomania

[walking on broken glass]

Does anyone have any advice regarding mythomania?
My sister very often makes up stories about coworkers or other people. Her stories are so transparently fictional because some basic patterns are always there. There is always someone involved that studied the same subject as me (!), a woman who is evil, controlling or a 'slut',a man who is naive and is duped by the evil woman, someone with mental health problems etc. She also makes up stories about men who are romantically interested in her but nothing ever happens (there is always an obstacle). She of course pretends that this is all strictly private and she only confides in me but she obviously shares the same stories with my parents or my cousin. My parents hang from every word she says, listen very attentively and give sincere advice. When she recounts such stories to me, I don't want to say to her 'well this is clearly made up' but equally I feel I can't pretend to believe them and validate the madness. I mostly listen without making any comments, just non committal sounds, but she will ask at some point 'what so you think about this?' I will normally give a generic answer and look for an excuse to hang up. I wonder if there is a better way. I wonder if I should say something like 'this seems to occupy a lot of headspace/worry you/upset you a lot. Perhaps you should talk to a therapist about it.' Has anyone tried anything like that?

[moglow]

I haven't advised talking with a therapist, but I have pointed out that "this sounds a whole lot like gossip to me" and changed the subject or ended the conversation. I've told her flat out I'm not interested in constantly name calling and picking other people/their motives apart, and I've removed myself firmly from any number of such conversations. It's that old if you can't say anything nice it's better to say nothing at all. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

I've never heard the term, "Mythomania," but my mother's version usually involved someone who desperately needed her help and she swooped in to be the heroine. Usually involving all sorts of sad family problems that looked NOTHING at all like our family.  But yeah, like Mo I ended up cutting her off with, "It sounds like none of this is any of my business. I'm sure they wouldn't want me knowing their private concerns."

"By you're my daughter!"

"And it's not my business."

She'd hang up angry then. Good luck.

[moglow]

"By you're my daughter [and they're your aunt/cousin/other random connection]!"

"And it's [still] not my business."

Brackets are my additions, and yes, that's pretty much how mine justifies it too. 

[walking on broken glass]

I like that attitude but alas it doesn't come naturally to me. I will have to cultivate it!

[moglow]

It didn't to me either, wobg, but I had to find a lifeline. The convolutions she went through for why I needed to know others' personal business were stunning! No. If they're not telling me and I can genuinely do nothing to help it's not mine. It's gossip. No thank you very much!! 

[Catothecat]

I am well familiar with the disorder as I had a NPD friend who embellished and lied in a very grandiose manner routinely.  I'd known others in the past who did this (most memorably in a manager who did it to a disturbing degree as usually her far-fetched "stories" were about others in the department), but this NPD friend was far and away the most imaginative. 

He had long, involved "histories" and "stories" of his family, various people he knew, even people he didn't really seem to know but had "heard all about."  I agree with the others that about all you can do is cut the conversation short and make it clear you really don't want to hear it. When I finally took this approach with this friend--which involved telling him what I really knew about his family history via my ancestry.com account because I was sick and tired of hearing one more time about the fabricated struggles of his family and their journey to American--he actually stopped doing it.  For anyone, not just the family lore.  He then also went LC with me, which I had no problem with.

When people do this, no matter who they are, you're not having a relationship with them.  You're their audience.

[walking on broken glass]

When people do this, no matter who they are, you're not having a relationship with them.  You're their audience.

Spot on! And this is exactly what they want: an audience.

Cato the cat, can I just say I love your nickname?

[Catothecat]

Can't take all the credit for my username, brokenglass!  Had a rescue cat and his original name was Kato, but ugh--Kato?  So we changed it to Cato since it seemed a more appropriate name and thus...

[walking on broken glass]

I love it! Very Roman