Where I want to be

[dealzz15]

I think I want to get to a place where I can forget the life I lived that was influenced by my self righteous  narcissistic father and have the life that I wanted and do the interests that I want without any stress or pressure that I can't manage. I want to get to a place where I can take care of myself emotionally, give myself reinsurance and just find the joy in life again. I also have such a dependency on weed rn for my body to not react as if its in a safe environment and I want to get a place where I don't feel the need to smoke. It's something that I know that I do have struggles with but rn if I took it away. I don't know if Id have the will to continue working on this or continue living life rn because I still feel so unhappy and I"m doing the best I can to make changes but I can't fully make these changes since I'm a college student I rely on my parents and can't fully pull away until I graduate.

Overall I just wish for myself to have a better life and one where I'm happy to be alive and want to be alive. I think that's my goal. I never had the opportunity to have a childhood that wasn't filled with work expectations and producing results so I just want to create that for myself and be someone I can live with

[bloomie]

dealzz15 - thank you for sharing your goals. Thank you for the vulnerability you offer in this post. Taking one thing at a time, like getting to graduation and moving forward from there seems like a wise way to go. Not expecting too much too soon while you are still dependent upon your parents is a gentle way to go.

Keep coming back and sharing. Keep moving forward one step at a time and be gentle with yourself!!