New, not sure if this is the right place

[Spyglass]

Hello,

I guess to keep this short...my family has a rather tumultuous history and there's some kind of hereditary issue or intergenerational trauma going on. Or both I guess?

The really summarized version is that my family has had, and still has, a lot of very angry and very traumatized people who take it out on others, with my grandfather, mother and stepfather being particularly bad about it.

I'm in very low contact with my grandfather or parents and their health is going downhill.

I've been in therapy for years which has helped considerably but I still find myself dealing with resentment over the hand I was dealt, and it seems to be getting worse as their health continues to deteriorate.

I don't think anyone in my family has been diagnosed with a personality disorder, but these forums seem like a good way to connect with others with the end of life emotional stew.

I'd also like to know if there are threads for intersectional things like race, disability and LGBT stuff.

[bloomie]

Hi Spyglass and welcome to Out of the FOG. Thank you for sharing a bit of what brings you to the community. What you describe of your family of origin (foo) sounds like a lot to unpack. I am sorry things have been so tumultuous and difficult.

This is a community of fellow travelers that will welcome your participation and support you. Spending time here has been a unique and powerful addition to other aspects of healing and recovery from my own tumultuous, high conflict foo experiences. I hope you find your time here to be of good help to you as well.

The toolbox and traits info at the drop down menus above are a great diving in spot and the book recommendations, other online resources and suggestions are a gold mine. Take your time perusing all that has been gathered here for you.

We do not have specific sub forums for interracial, LGBTQ+ stuff, but we welcome you to share your difficulties in relationships within the sub forum that best defines the relationship. So, for example PD parents board for parental relationships, Chosen board for chosen relationships, etc.

Most of us that come here find that our loved ones do not have an official diagnosis of PD, which is why we focus on behaviors and finding strategies and support for dealing with those behaviors - or not dealing with those behaviors if we have had to go NC with someone in close relationship with us.

So, you are in the right place and we are glad you have joined us. I say this with every welcome because it has proven so very true for me, but keep coming back!! It helps to lighten a heavy load!

[Starboard Song]

bloomie nailed it: welcome to Out of the FOG. You are in the right place, and diagnoses are not needed.

Please do check out the Toolbox and Top 100 Traits and What It Feels Like. Those are a great place to start to realize this truth: you are not alone.

Welcome.