How to work on insecurities

[dealzz15]

Hi, I've been doing a lot of self work with insecurities and I have been able to challenge and improve some of my insecurities, but I'm still struggling with a few that still affect me daily. I have such an insecurity about everything with my appearance including weight, how I look, and how I'm perceived by others. I usually wear sweatshirts and the same outfits every day because I'm so self conscious of my body and feel the need to hide it to avoid ridicule. Even when I lost significant weight like 10-20 pounds, I still feel fat and I don't go out with my friends because of how self conscious I feel about myself and dressing up and just feel like everything thinks that I'm so ugly.

I also have an insecurity in terms of failing, like I have a fear of failing and get really anxious that I'm doing the wrong thing and that everyone will hate me and judge me for my failures. I just started classes for the semester yesterday and felt so much anxiety about me doing well in the class and everything thinking that I'm stupid. I also realized that I assume I'm wrong and that everyone else is right and been trying to provide evidence to myself that I'm not my insecurities but its not working. I feel scared about messing up no matter how small the stakes are I'm just starting to realize too that I'm feeling a lot of fear and feel scared when I'm in the situations and its impacting how I interact with people I have never met because I think I send a non verbal message of don't talk to me and it makes a lot of people think I'm unapproachable because of the nervous anxiety energy I'm giving off

I know this is all in my mind and I'm making steps to improve it but for some reason I can't get past these and was wondering if anyone had advice. Thank you!

[Rebel13]

Hi dealzz15,

I have struggled with similar things too!  Two things that helped me a lot:

Pete Walker's work on CPTSD, emotional flashbacks and the inner critic.

The book Bodylove by Rita Freedman.  It's kind of old now but it was the best thing I ever read about improving body image.

Good luck!  It is hard and a long journey but I'm living proof it's possible to feel better about this stuff.