Here I go

[Igotthis]

Hey everyone,

You can call me John. Not where to start. Not really sure what I'm doing here yet. Maybe looking for validation definitely looking for advice.

My children and I are victims to a woman (their mom) with ASPD, and possibly munchhauzen. The abuse started with me. Being drugged for a period of years with medications that almost took my life, several times. I caught on and was able to get her to stop after getting her to trust me and talk about who she is and what she had been doing. Used that as leverage to convince her to stop or I would expose her.

Everything spun out of control. Can't give to many details but we are sharing our children for now.

I just need to figure out how to protect them without me being with half of the time and also protect myself from her either trying to kill  me and/or falsely incriminate me. As if I get put into jail or loose custody of them I cannot protect them or mitigate the psychological abuse which honestly has me more concerned than her ability to physically hurt them.

The psychological abuse is so hard to recognize and hard for young children and even adults to articulate.

Would greatly appreciate any advice.

I'm scared to death.

Thanks for listening to me. I will answer any questions the best I can but I have to be careful as if she ever sees this and is able to identify me as writing it she will find a way to use it against me.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! I am sorry you had to find us and glad you did.

From your post I gather you are not living together and you hope to get full custody of the children. Do you have good legal support?

Check out the Toolbox for strategies when dealing with your partner. Also, you might find helpful posts on the separating and divorcing board.

Do you have real life support? Counseling, trauma therapy, self help groups? I found mindfulness meditation a very helpful tool to regain inner calm and clarity of mind.

It's a difficult journey you are embarking on, but you are not alone. We are all working on healing from the fog we have lived in.