Gold Child Sister is a Con Artist Will history in another family repeat itself

[Just Kathy]

From a young age, my sister, the "Golden Child," was instilled with the belief that she was superior to me by our parents.

This belief shaped her actions towards me throughout our childhood and beyond. As a child, while our parents kept me emotionally dysregulated and possessing zero self-esteem and confidence, my dear sister took advantage of this -taking on the role of my unsolicited guide; for example, she dedicated herself to scrutinizing my social interactions meticulously. After these observations, she would offer me her "advice" on what I had done wrong and how I could improve. However, don't be mistaken—her guidance wasn't rooted in sisterly love but rather in a desire to assert her superiority and practice manipulating me.

My sister adopted the guise of a mentor, crafting a dynamic where I would lean on her, believing in her guidance and unwittingly fostering a dependency. This very sister, who in our childhood years demonstrated her readiness to shatter my trust without a second thought. Upon finding my personal diary, she didn't pause before handing it over to our parents, only to then weave a tale that led me to think our mother had accidentally found it. Her skill in deceit was such that I, despite an intuitive suspicion that she was the actual culprit behind the diary's discovery, chose to extend the benefit of the doubt to her.

This doubt lingered, shadowed by her convincing lies, until the passing of our parents. It was only in their absence that the veil lifted, allowing me to see my sister's true nature. The revelations that came with this newfound clarity painted a starkly different picture of the person I thought I knew. Her actions, once obscured by familial trust and the pretense of mentorship, now stood as precise indicators of her manipulative tendencies.

Fast forward to adulthood and after our mother's death. Dear sister told me a distressing lie that our father had squandered all of our mother's savings on gambling. This is where dear sister made her mistake.  Driven by confusion and concern, I confronted our father, expecting to hear a defense or a denial. Instead, he presented me with a revelation.

Handing over a pile of financial documents—savings, checking account statements, and bank receipts from my mother—it became clear. The narrative of my father's alleged gambling was a fabrication. Those documents laid bare truth; every Wednesday, while I was elsewhere, our mother wrote substantial checks to my sister. Over ten years, she had been quietly depleting her savings, funneling money to sustain my sister's financial needs.

Throughout the years, my sister made it her mantra to proclaim herself as the sole member of our family with everything under control. She frequently belittled our parents and me, openly calling us stupid, painting a picture of herself as the epitome of competence amidst a family she deemed incapable. This narrative persisted despite a glaring contradiction: each time she found herself in a bind, our parents and I came to her rescue. Yet, undeterred by this irony, she would boast to us, her neighbors, and anyone willing to lend an ear, claiming she was the only one with her life in order while disparaging the rest of us as incompetent. This pattern of behavior revealed a deep-seated hypocrisy, as she relied on the very people she criticized to pull her out of her self-created messes.

My sister's manipulation of our mother, leading to the draining of her life savings, is a stark example of the financial exploitation that went unmentioned within my family of origin. In his role, my father seemed indifferent to the unfolding events, embodying what can only be described as enabling behavior. It was only after I confronted him that the truth surfaced.

So, anyone with a Golden Child sibling who has taken on the role of mentor toward them should beware of my cautionary tale.

My SIL might be doing a Money Grab soon

Interestingly, my husband's sister (the Golden Child) has acted like my husband's mentor since an early age, in the same way, that my own sister was my giving him unsolicited advice, earning his trust by telling him where he communicated wrongly, invalidates her brother's opinions, etc.  She's so much liked my own sister in many ways, so slick in so many manipulative ways.

My husband's mother is getting old, and his sister wants the mother to move onto her property and live in a small house. 

Considering how 'difficult' and destructive my MIL could be, I believe that SIL might be manipulating things for her own personal money grab.

My prediction is that my husband, who believes his sister can do no wrong, will be shocked about something once his mom passes away. He has a lot of trust for his sister now, but things he doesn't know might change his tune.

[OverHere]

JustKathy I am so sorry this has happened.  Thank you for the warning, my older sibling has tried to get into the position of mentor with me (to become protector to the scapegoat) and I find it crucial to stick to gardening talk with them after a very long stretch of NC.

Is it wrong for me to relish the story of your father presenting all the financial documents?  It really strikes a chord with me.