Shifting to joy

[hhaw]

1foot:

I'm looking at my fellow humans, sans any enabling light casting the need to excuse creepy, rapy, abusive behaviors.

I'm seeing women as humans, instead of competition.

I see how men labeled women, and children as "hysterical" for honestly reporting abuse.

Having been raised in a misogynistic family.....and figuring out my own internalized misogyny......I feel as though I'm seeing "humans" clearly.

Particularly when I notice....
Helping our 48yo mailman, with health issues, food and 8 bags of bear spread garbage carry away, after his shoulder surgery, leads to his asking if he can date my early twenties DD, who he's known since she was 15yo.... Creep.

The women I help set up living situations, are those fleeing dv situations, with children, from abusive men.

Another neighbor, married to a nice lady, has been inappropriate to the point I threw a punch (missed) but he was going to make physical contact.  He's spread lies about me and reasons I banned him from my yard. Creep.

I had to take out a TRO against a male contractor, bc ...creep.

I have about 25 more examples, but you probably do to.



You see..... I AM noticing a pattern here, and yes.... perhaps am accurately painting about 50% of the population with a broad brush.

Not gonna lie .....that sounds about right.

[skybox]

Cultural changes online, press, etc have legitimized terrible behaviour of some unpleasant men.
I have witnessed some of this- a neighboir being creepy to young girlfriend of relative- they don't seem to have shame.

There is a push to accept that «  grandpa age men «  deserve » the bodies of young women. And other men admire them. It's very strange. And ridiculous.

Taking back power, and empowering young people as you are already doing ....

And finding the good - the decent people....

[1footouttadefog]

We certainly have a deteriorating culture. 

I hear lots of aweful from both men and women, but especially from women about what seems to be insanity in the dating world, work place and other areas of interaction in public places.

A woman I know does landscaping work and such because it pays more than cashier or retail jobs.  She has moved from job to job because the men she works for end up asking her if she would like to make a little extra money, but performing a sex act, they promised it won't take long. 

She once noticed a help wanted sign at a place that cut  and stacked firewood and sold it by the stack or the trick load.  She was desperate for firewood as she has been abandoned by her husband and left with 5 kids and a trailer with no electricity for heat or well pump.

The male who ran the place told he would give her firewood for a sex act. She said she would need to work for it, and he said business  was not that good at the moment, despite having the sign up. 

There was a time when men would have corrected that guy for treating a mother with children that way. 

There was a time when men would stop by to help a woman struggling like that with mowing her grass or fixing a broken porch railing or something, and there wives would have welcomed them doing so because it's the right thing to do.  Now the males see vulnerable women as an someone to exploit sexually.

It pisses me off that these guys get referrals by women who don't know how they act toward other women, by saying he is such a nice man, etc. the woman I know had all these nasty men vouched for by other women.

When I was cleaning up one of my rental houses over the course of months, I had like a hundred people stop and inquire about when the house would be rented and how much.  I heard so many stories of nasty slum lords that try to get sex from renters. 

I still refuse to let it take my joy.  Info what I can to make the work a better place and to fight the good fight and I can sleep at night knowing I do my part.