Out of the FOG is an information site and support group offering help to family members and loved-ones of people who suffer from personality disorders.
Out of the FOG was written and developed by people who have experienced a relationship with a family member, spouse or partner who suffers from a Personality Disorder.
Personality Disorders are serious mental-health conditions which affect millions of people and are often misunderstood and undiagnosed.
Personality Disorders negatively affect the quality of life not only of the people who suffer from them, but also their family members, spouses, partners, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
The emphasis of Out of the FOG is on describing Personality Disorders from a Non-Personality-Disordered individual’s point of view. In other words; what is it like to live with a person with NPD or BPD? Where can you find help when you have a parent with a Histrionic or Dependent Personality Disorder? How do you cope when confronted with the prospect of caring for someone with Obsessive-Compulsive or Avoidant Personality Disorder?
The descriptions of Personality Disorders given here are based on both the clinical criteria used for formal diagnosis, and on the experiences of people who have cared for someone who suffers from a Personality Disorder - what it feels like, what works and what doesn’t.
We often think of people in simple terms such as ‘good and bad’, ‘friends and enemies’, ‘loving and hateful’. Personality Disorders are not so simple. People who suffer from them may exhibit behaviors which are sometimes constructive and other times destructive. Over time, this can generate feelings of Fear, Obligation and Guilt (or FOG) in those who come into contact with them.
It is our goal to inform and support family members, spouses, partners, friends and caregivers as they try to work their way out of the confusion, out of the chaos and out of the FOG.
Visit our online Support Forum, an online message board and support group where you can talk to others who are in a similar situation as yourself, learn and get help from others in our online community.
Browse through our Top 100 Traits Section. It's packed full of information about some of the different types of behaviors you might encounter when you are living in a relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder. Each section includes examples, descriptions of what it feels like and good and bad ideas for coping with difficult or challenging behaviors.
Our Toolbox contains lots of helpful ideas on what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder, how to cope, what works and what doesn't.
Dealing with a loved-one or family member who suffers from a personality disorder can sometimes feel like navigating through a fog.
People often arrive at the Out of the FOG website feeling a range of emotions from anger to bewilderment to hopelessness from trying to cope with the confusing behaviors exhibited by a personality-disordered individual.
If you have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, it is our hope the information in this book may help you navigate out of the FOG in your own life.
Note: At this site, we often use the term “Non” to refer to the partner, colleague, relative or friend of someone with a Personality Disorder – we think it’s a lot less cumbersome than “person without a Personality Disorder” or “Non-Personality-Disordered individual”. See our Glossary to learn more terms and acronyms.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
Five years ago, a photographer, an engineer, a writer, an office manager, a grandmother, a graphic artist, a law student, a husband, a librarian, and a stained-glass artisan came together to connect a diverse, isolated population in search of information, support, and growth as they strive to cope with a family members, spouses or partners who suffer from a personality disorder. Since its launch on November 1, 2007, Out Of The FOG has grown from a fledgling discussion group with 10 participants, to a vibrant community of over 4000 registered members world-wide, with new members joining every day.
On August 31 2012, the Out of the FOG Support Forum crossed two significant milestones - 100,000 member posts and 10,000 topics. Thanks to all who participate and contribute to the OOTF support board, which is a unique source of support to non-personality-disordered individuals all over the world.