Catastrophizing - Catastrophizing is the habit of automatically assuming a "worst case scenario" and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.
Description:
Catastrophizing is sometimes referred to as "over-reacting".
There are different motivations a person with a personality disorder may have for catastrophizing:
To draw attention to themselves,
To draw attention away from another issue,
To navigate unsuspecting bystanders towards a "desirable" course of action,
To "punish" or hurt another individual for a perceived hurt,
To justify an action which might otherwise be viewed as inappropriate,
To produce a desired reaction or response from an individual.
Examples of Catastrophizing:
A mother who habitually rushes her child to the emergency room in response to a minor accident or illness.
A friend who contemplates suicide in response to making an unwise purchase.
A spouse who accuses their partner of infidelity when they strike up a conversation or friendship with a member of the opposite sex.
A person who feels abandoned when their partner is a few minutes late for a date.
If you have been living for a long time with a person who is prone to catastrophizing events and situations, you may have a tendency to roll you eyes and say "Oh yeah, sure", but internally, you may also fear that this person can really do you damage. People who catastrophize sometimes divert needed resources, such as time and money, to address their issue, and consider their actions justified because of their perceived need to avert disaster.
It can feel humiliating to see the reactions of other people to "over-reacting" behavior. You may find yourself trying to compensate for a partner or family member's attitude to try to cover up your own embarrassment.
You may also be on the receiving end of some of the assumptions, accusations or conclusions that can arise from catastrophizing. This can feel threatening as you may be cast as the perpetrator of inappropriate behavior which you feel is unwarranted.
Coping with Catastrophizing - What NOT to do:
Don't panic.
Don't automatically assume they are over-reacting and completely ignore them. Every once in a while emergencies do happen. Figure out what is real and work on that.
Don't try to over-compensate for their behavior by using any bad behavior of your own.
Don't go into crisis mode just to keep the peace. Try to be as calm and objective as you can. Don't allow yourself to become responsible for cleaning up the mess that someone else's behavior creates.
Avoid Circular Conversations - State your position once only. Then exit the conversation, whether or not they acknowledge that you are right.
Coping with Catastrophizing - What TO Do:
Protect yourself and any children from potentially harmful or dangerous behavior. Call the police if necessary. Take any threat to harm self or others seriously.
Get support. Try to get a third party involved who can take the focus away from your response and help you objectively navigate the "crisis".
Quickly investigate each situation to establish the facts.
Communicate your conclusions calmly and kindly. Tell the person how you see it, what you are going to do about it, and what you are not going to do about it.
Protect your resources. Get a separate bank account, if necessary.
Get a special ring tone for the person who catastrophizes and let their calls go to the answering service. That gives you time to listen and think without having to react immediately.
Try to recognize the feeling that is behind each crisis and talk to that. Often the person feels scared or anxious. Acknowledge and validate their feelings rather than focusing on their behavior.
Try to keep the responsibility for solving the problem with the person who created it. When a person is trying to deal with a real crisis, they will usually be willing to pitch in to help solve the problem and clean up the mess.
Get emotional support. Talk to a friend or therapist about your situation. Break the silence. Learn what other people see and hear. Learn about personality disorders and how they may be affecting your situation.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
On Tuesday November 1, 2011, the Out of the FOG Website and Support Forum celebrates 4 years of providing information and support for those with a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder. Our site receives over 2 million hits per year and our support forum has received more than 68,000 posts from 2700 members. Thanks to all who support OOTF with your participation, time and gifts and help to make this unique community possible.
To increase our site performance we have moved to our own dedicated server. We hope this will provide faster, more reliable downloads and give us more flexibility over the functionality of our site.
We have just released a new version of the Support Forum on Simple Machines Version 2.0. We believe this version of the message board software will give us better protection from spam posters.
