Chaos Manufacture - Unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion or mess.
Making a Mess of Things
If you fear picking up the phone or coming home to a family member or spouse because you have no idea what unpleasantness might greet you, you may be dealing with a Chaos Manufacturer.
Not everybody wants peace - some people actively generate chaotic situations in their lives and in the lives of those around them.
Chaos Manufacture is commonly associated with Histrionic Personality Disorder. People who suffer from HPD sometimes engage in destructive behaviors in an attempt to feel in control over their environment or control over their relationships. These behaviors sometimes appear random or illogical to outsiders.
Some people interpret these mess-making behaviors as a “cry for help.” However, not everyone who manufactures chaos is trying to gain attention. Some people try to hide the chaos they create, and feel a sense of shame about it. Some people create chaos as a way to generate internal feelings of being important or in control. Some generate chaos as a narcissistic form of recreation, with little regard for how it impacts on others.
Examples of Chaos Manufacture:
Destruction or inappropriate disposal of property.
Theft from family members or from strangers.
Suicide attempts and self-harm.
Deliberately having an affair in full view of the other partner.
Acts of cruelty.
Starting fights by baiting outsiders and bystanders.
Calling emergency services such as fire, police or ambulance over a minor or non-existent problem.
What it feels like:
If you’re living with somebody who manufactures chaos, you may feel helpless and powerless.
You may have tried to get the Personality Disordered person in your life to see the error of their ways. You may have resorted to trying to manipulate their behavior by not doing or saying certain things around them.
You may foster a kind of secret life through work, friendships or activities away from the home which you try to protect from their influence.
It’s common for victims of chaos manufacture to feel a sense of shame over not being able to get their world onto an even keel. Because of this, they may gradually isolate themselves from supportive friends and family. They may avoid inviting others to their home for fear of what it will look like. They may avoid making plans with others due to concerns their plans will be spoiled by a sudden crisis.
Coping with Chaos Manufacture:
Chaos Manufacture is a form of physical and emotional abuse. Even if the abuser is not intentionally targeting the victim, the behavior is still abusive. It is imperative for victims to get to a safe and more secure place and where possible, limit the amount of damage which can be done.
What NOT to Do:
Don't spend your time and energy trying to control the actions of a chaos manufacturer.
Don't retaliate or resort to bad behavior yourself.
Don't leave valuable objects in a vulnerable place.
Don't accept responsibility for fixing other people's messes.
Don't try to handle any crisis alone.
Don't force yourself to provide a logical explanation for the irrational acts of a Personality Disordered individual.
What TO Do:
Remove all items of value from the reach of the chaos manufacturer. This includes:
Access to bank accounts,
Sentimental objects such as photographs, gifts and souvenirs, and
Dangerous items, such as guns, drugs and knives.
Call for backup whenever there is an incident or crisis.
Remove yourself from any situation there is a risk of being physically hurt.
Call the police and report any threats, acts of violence or thefts.
August 25, 2014 - OOTF announce an exciting new development - it's called Out of the Storm - a support site specifically designed for people who suffer from CPTSD - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. At OOTF we have often welcomed members who are dealing with CPTSD as a consequence of having been in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder. Nevertheless, for a long time we have recognized that CPTSD sufferers have a distinct and unique set of concerns and issues.
Nov 9, 2013 - OOTF has just launched a new "Future Goals" forum. This forum is a safe place to store your goals of what you would like to achieve. Setting goals can help us move forward, and give us something to focus on while we are working our way through day to day issues. Goals can change, be amended or added to over time as we either achieve them, or determine new goals as our lives unfold.