Are important problems or concerns you have to face taking a back seat to the imaginary or over-inflated problems of a loved one?
Are you trying to cover up the abnormal behavior of a loved one?
Do you frequently find yourself trying to bring a family member or significant other back down to earth?
Have you ever wondered how bad it would get if a real crisis ever did strike?
Do you find yourself giving up things that you need just to placate a family member?
Are healthy relationships and activities you enjoy perceived as a distraction from your assigned role - managing the all-important concerns of a family member?
Are you trying to fill the black hole of someone else’s emotional need?
Do you find yourself hiding your needs from a family member or loved one?
Are you unable to discuss your concerns, fears, goals and dreams because to do so would only create conflict in the relationship?
Do you carry a cell phone that can ruin your day with just one ring?
Do you wear yourself out to meet the emotional needs of a family member, only to find that your efforts are in vain?
Are you chastised for caring for others? Are you cut off from contact with other family members, friends, people you care about? Are you afraid to take a night out with friends? Do you find yourself letting healthy relationships die because of the competition it creates?
Does a loved one ever promise you how much better things would be if you would just take care of their needs, only to criticize you for letting them down when you try?
Do you suspect your loved one of making up problems just to draw attention to themselves?
Do you feel trapped? alone? Do you feel as though nobody understands what you are dealing with?
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” then it’s possible you may be in a relationship with someone who has Histrionic Personality Disorder - or HPD. HPD is a serious condition that isolates those who surround the people who have the disorder. Living with a person who suffers from HPD can be an exhausting, frustrating experience. Trying to make your loved-one happy is like trying to empty the ocean with a leaky bucket. Your loved one’s personality disorder prevents them from seeing the destructiveness of their own behaviors and keeps them from seeing or understanding your own needs and limitations.
Histrionic means having a pattern of excessively dramatic, emotional, over-reactive or attention-seeking behavior, an excessive need for approval or inappropriate seductiveness. The term comes from the Latin for "actor". Click Here for information on Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).
Despite being common, few people have heard of HPD.
A mnemonic that is sometimes used to describe the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is “PRAISE ME”
P - provocative (or seductive) behavior
R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
A - attention, must be at center of
I - influenced easily
S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
E - emotional liability, shallowness
M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical
But there is hope! You are not alone! You don’t have to figure all this out by yourself! There are lots of people who have faced or are facing similar circumstances. Some of them are right here on this site. We strongly urge you to read some of the stories, learn about coping with this devastating illness and ask your own questions at our message board.
HPD Characteristics - The DSM-IV Criteria
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is listed in the DSM-IV-TR as a "Cluster B" (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) Personality Disorder.
Text in Bold Italics is quoted from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-IV)
DSM IV CRITERIA FOR HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
2. interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
3. displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
4. consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
5. has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
6. shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
7. Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
Understanding the clinical criteria for HPD is helpful but learning how to cope with having a loved-one who suffers from HPD is quite different and is not covered in any psychological manual. One of the most effective ways we have found to deal with that is to get support from people who understand what it feels like to listen to exaggerated monologues, who know the pain of having their own real needs relegated below the manufactured issues being pushed by a person who has HPD and have learned together how to cope and stop the abusive cycle.
Feb 10, 2010 - The American Psychiatric Association today released their first draft of the 5th revision of the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-V) which regroups personality disorder diagnoses into 5 categories:
Antisocial/Psychopathic Type
Avoidant Type
Borderline Type
Obsessive-Compulsive Type
Schizotypal Type
There is also a proposed mechanism for scoring the severity and the match of each of the diagnostic traits.
The proposals are not final and the APA has a comment period starting today and ending April 20th 2010. The DSM-V is scheduled for release in May 2013.
Dec 30 2009 - Those of you who use the "stay logged in" feature of the Out of the FOG support forum will notice that you unexpectedly had to log in again today. Please don't be alarmed. This was caused by some updates to the board behind the scenes. Please excuse the inconvenience.
Nov 1 2009 - Out of the FOG is celebrating 2 years in bringing information and support to family members and loved-ones of people who suffer from personality disorders. In the two years since we launched, our traffic has grown exponentially and we are rapidly becoming one of the internet's premier sources of information on coping with personality disorders. Happy birthday OOTF and thanks to all our members and supporters around the world.
Out of the FOG Support Forum Zetaboards Upgrade
June 15 2009 - Please excuse our appearance while the Out of the FOG Support Forum upgrades to run on the new Zetaboards software platform. The new software contains a number of new features and improvements over our existing system which should become evident after the conversion is completed.
This upgrade will convert all our existing forums, posts, PM's, memberships and profiles. There should be very little interruption in service or loss of data. The only thing you will notice is changes to the appearance of the graphical interface. It will take 1-2 weeks to complete the conversion.
Our main Out of the FOG information site, here at http://www.outofthefogsite.com will be unaffected by the upgrade. Bookmark this site and visit here if you have any trouble logging into the board. Should any unexpected interruption in our service occur, an announcement will be posted in the "Latest News" Box at at http://www.outofthefogsite.com. Additionally, a temporary discussion forum has been established here which you can use should we experience any long-term interruption of service.
Please excuse any inconvenience you may experience as we perform the upgrade.
June 3 2009 - BPD author A.J. Mahari has launched a new version of her website called BPD INFO which has a section which invites members to submit website articles about BPD. Our own gary submitted an article to her site this week.
