Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) - Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is a mental illness which is characterized by a pattern of excessively dramatic, emotional, over-reactive or attention-seeking behavior, an excessive need for approval or inappropriate seductiveness. The term "Histrionic" comes from the Latin for "actor".
Description:
Do you live with a drama queen or a drama king?
Are important problems or concerns you have to face taking a back seat to the imaginary or over-inflated problems of a loved one?
Are you trying to cover up the abnormal behavior of a loved one?
Do you frequently find yourself trying to bring a family member or significant other back down to earth?
Have you ever wondered how bad it would get if a real crisis ever did strike?
Do you find yourself giving up things that you need just to placate a family member?
Are healthy relationships and activities you enjoy perceived as a distraction from your assigned role - managing the all-important concerns of a family member?
Are you trying to fill the black hole of someone else’s emotional need?
Do you find yourself hiding your needs from a family member or loved one?
Are you unable to discuss your concerns, fears, goals and dreams because to do so would only create conflict in the relationship?
Do you carry a cell phone that can ruin your day with just one ring?
Do you wear yourself out to meet the emotional needs of a family member, only to find that your efforts are in vain?
Are you chastised for caring for others? Are you cut off from contact with other family members, friends, people you care about? Are you afraid to take a night out with friends? Do you find yourself letting healthy relationships die because of the competition it creates?
Does a loved one ever promise you how much better things would be if you would just take care of their needs, only to criticize you for letting them down when you try?
Do you suspect your loved one of making up problems just to draw attention to themselves?
Do you feel trapped? alone? Do you feel as though nobody understands what you are dealing with?
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” then it’s possible you may be in a relationship with someone who has Histrionic Personality Disorder - or HPD. HPD is a serious condition that isolates those who surround the people who have the disorder. Living with a person who suffers from HPD can be an exhausting, frustrating experience. Trying to make your loved-one happy is like trying to empty the ocean with a leaky bucket. Your loved one’s personality disorder prevents them from seeing the destructiveness of their own behaviors and keeps them from seeing or understanding your own needs and limitations.
HPD Characteristics & Traits
Acting Out - Acting Out behavior refers to a subset of personality disorder traits that are more outwardly-destructive than self-destructive.
"Always" & "Never" Statements - "Always" & "Never" Statements are statements containing the words "always" or "never". They are commonly used but rarely true.
Anger (PD) - Anger is what you feel when you don't get what you think you deserve. Because they have strong emotional reactions to events, which they may regard as appropriate while others disregard them, people who suffer from personality disorders often feel a sense of unresolved anger over percieved ways they may feel they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected or abused.
Baiting & Picking Fights - Baiting is the practice of generating a provocative action or statement for the purpose of obtaining an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another person.
Belittling, Condescending & Patronising - Belittling, Condescending & Patronising Speech is a passive aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of friendliness.
Blaming - Blaming is the practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.
Bullying - Bullying is any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic or emotional strength.
Bunny Boiling - Bunny Boiling is a reference to an iconic scene in the movie "Fatal Attraction" in which the main character Alex, who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, kills the family's pet rabbit and boils it on the stove. Bunny Boiling has become a popular reference to how people sometimes exhibit their rage by acting out on the target of their rage "in effigy" by behaving destructively towards symbolic, important or treasured possessions of those whom they wish to hurt, control or intimidate.
Catastrophizing - Catastrophizing is the habit of automatically assuming a "worst case scenario" and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.
Chaos Manufacture - Chaos Manufacture is the practice of unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion or mess.
Cheating - Cheating is sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else.
Circular Conversations - Circular Conversations are arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no real resolution.
Compulsive Lying - Compulsive Lying is a term used to describe lying frequently out of habit, without much regard for the consequences to others and without having an obvious motive to lie. A compulsive liar is someone who habitually lies.
Denial (PD) - Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen.
Depression (PD) - When you feel sadder than you think you should, for longer than you think you should - but still can't seem to break out of it - that's depression.
Domestic Theft -Domestic theft is consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to (or shared with) a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.
Emotional Blackmail - Emotional Blackmail describes the use of a system of threats and punishments on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behaviors.
Engulfment - Engulfment is an unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on a spouse, partner or family member, which comes from imagining or believing that one exists only within the context of that relationship.
Entitlement - Entitlement or a 'Sense of Entitlement' is an unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.
Escape To Fantasy - Escape to Fantasy is sometimes practiced by people who routinely shun transparency with others and present a facade to friends, partners and family members. Their true identity and feelings are commonly expressed privately in an alternate fantasy world.
False Accusations - False accusations, distortion campaigns & smear campaigns are patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticisms which occur when a personality disordered individual tries to feel better about themselves by putting down someone else - usually a family member, spouse, partner, friend or colleague.
Favoritism - Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a group of peers.
Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits - Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits are methods of withholding support, harassing or prolonging conflict by bringing unsubstantiated accusations, meritless appeals or diversionary process into a relationship or a former relationship using the court system as a proxy.
Hoovers & Hoovering - A Hoover is a metaphor, taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim, trying to assert their own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship gets "sucked back in" when the perpetrator temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behavior.
Hysteria - Hysteria is inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.
Impulsiveness and Impulsivity - Impulsiveness - or Impulsivity - is the tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.
Infantilization - Infantilization is the practice of treating a child as if they are much younger than their actual age.
Munchausen's and Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome (MBPS) - Munchausen's Syndrome is a disorder in which an individual repeatedly fakes or exaggerates their own illness or medical symptoms in order to manipulate the attentions of medical professionals or personal caregivers. Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome (MBPS) or Munchausen's Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP) is a form of child abuse in which a parent systematically manufactures, fabricates or exaggerates the appearance of illness in a child in order to draw attention to themselves, elevate their own importance and manipulate the attentions of caregivers and medical professionals.
Mood Swings - Mood swings are unpredictable rapid, dramatic cycles of mood which can not be readily explained by changes in external circumstances.
Name-Calling - Name-Calling is a form of Verbal Abuse which people sometimes indulge in when their emotional thought processes take control from their rational thought processes.
Projection - Projection is the act of attributing one's own feelings or traits onto another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.
Push-Pull - Push-Pull is a chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.
Raging, Violence & Impulsive Aggression - Raging, Violence and Impulsive Aggression are unprovoked verbal or emotional attacks or elevations of a dispute, sometimes accompanied by violence or the destruction of property, which threaten the security or safety of another individual - or violates their personal boundaries.
Sabotage - Sabotage is the impulsive disruption of a calm or harmonious status quo in a relationship or domestic situatuion, occasionally perpetrated by those with Personality Disorders, in order to serve a personal interest, to provoke a conflict or to draw attention to themselves.
Self-Aggrandizement - Self-Aggrandizement is a pattern of pompous behavior, boasting, narcissism or competitiveness designed to create an appearance of superiority.
Self-Harm - Self Harm, also known as self-mutilation, self-injury or self-abuse is any form of deliberate, premeditated injury inflicted on oneself, common among adolescents and among people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. Most common forms are cutting and poisoning/overdosing.
Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization, or "playing the victim" is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.
Targeted Humor - Targeted Humor is any sustained pattern of joking, sarcasm or mockery which is designed to reduce another individual's reputation in their own eyes or in the eyes of others.
Testing - Testing is a common practice among people who suffer from personality disorders where a person close to them is put in the position of proving their love or commitment to the relationship by enduring a hardship, sacrificing a pleasure or treasured asset or foregoing a personal goal or ethic.
Threats - Threats are written or verbal warnings of intentional, inappropriate, destructive actions or consequences.
Despite being common, few people have heard of HPD.
A mnemonic that is sometimes used to describe the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is “PRAISE ME”
P - provocative (or seductive) behavior
R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
A - attention, must be at center of
I - influenced easily
S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
E - emotional liability, shallowness
M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical
But there is hope! You are not alone! You don’t have to figure all this out by yourself! There are lots of people who have faced or are facing similar circumstances. Some of them are right here on this site. We strongly urge you to read some of the stories, learn about coping with this devastating illness and ask your own questions at our message board.
HPD Characteristics - The DSM-IV Criteria
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is listed in the DSM-IV-TR as a "Cluster B" (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) Personality Disorder.
Text in Bold Italics is quoted from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-IV)
DSM IV CRITERIA FOR HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
2. interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
3. displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
4. consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
5. has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
6. shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
7. Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
Understanding the clinical criteria for HPD is helpful but learning how to cope with having a loved-one who suffers from HPD is quite different and is not covered in any psychological manual. One of the most effective ways we have found to deal with that is to get support from people who understand what it feels like to listen to exaggerated monologues, who know the pain of having their own real needs relegated below the manufactured issues being pushed by a person who has HPD and have learned together how to cope and stop the abusive cycle.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or partner who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
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