There are a number of terms and abbreviations that you will encounter on this site and on our support forum. Here are some of the more commonly used terms:
---1..9---
The 3 "C's" Rule- The 3 "C's" rule is a reminder to victim's of abuse that "I didn't Cause it, I can't Cure it and I can't Control it.
The 5 Stages of Grief - The 5 Stages of Grief - Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression & Acceptance - were first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross to describe a process which many people go through when dealing with a significant tragedy or loss.
The 50% Rule- The 50% Rule says that we are responsible for 50% of the things that happen in any relationship we share with a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
The 51% Rule - The 51% Rule says that we need to consider our own needs just a little more that those of others in order to be able to help them effectively.
Abusive Cycle - The Abusive Cycle describes the characteristic rotation between destructive and constructive behavior that typically exists in dysfunctional relationships and dysfunctional families.
Acting In - Acting In behavior refers to a subset of personality disorder traits that are more self-destructive than outwardly-destructive.
Acting Out - Acting Out behavior refers to a subset of personality disorder traits that are more outwardly-destructive than self-destructive.
ad litem - see Guardian ad litem - A representative appointed by a court to represent a child in a custody case. The Latin term ad litem literally means "for the trial" or "for the proceeding".
Adult Children - An adult child is a term commonly used to describe any grown adult who was exposed to emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child.
AFCH - Adult Family Care Home. A private home owned by an individual licensed by the state to provide supervision to mentally disabled adults.
ALF - Assisted Living Facility - A type of state-run group care home.
Alienation - Alienation means interfering with, or cutting a person off from, relationships with others. This can be done by manipulating the attitudes and behaviors of the victim or of the people with whom they come in contact. The victim's relationships with others may be sabotaged through verbal pressure, threats, diversions, distortion campaigns and systems of rewards and punishments.
"Always" & "Never" Statements - "Always" & "Never" Statements are statements containing the words "always" or "never". They are commonly used but rarely true.
Amateur Diagnosis - An Amateur Diagnosis is when a non-qualified individual confronts someone whom they suspect suffers from a personality-disorder and shares this belief with them, usually in the hope that this revelation will help to improve the relationship or the situation.
Amygdala - The Amygdala is a small region of the brain which plays a key role in emotional regulation, emotional memory and responses to emotional stimuli.
Anger (PD) - Anger is what you feel when you don't get what you think you deserve. Because they have strong emotional reactions to events, which they may regard as appropriate while others disregard them, people who suffer from personality disorders often feel a sense of unresolved anger over percieved ways they may feel they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected or abused.
Anger (Non-PD) - Anger is what you feel when you don't get what you think you deserve. Non-PD's often feel a sense of anger over past abuses, an uncertain future outlook, unequal burden-sharing and persistent denial of their personal needs.
Anger Management - Anger Management is a term that describes a broad array of approaches that are on offer to assist an individual in reducing the intensity of their angry feelings or to control their outward expressions of anger.
A Streetcar Named Desire - A Streetcar Named Desire is a is a 1947 play written by Tennessee Williams, later adapted for film, which tells the story of a woman who displays histrionic and borderline traits, who goes to live with her codependent sister and her narcissistic husband.
Axis - The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV) uses a 5-axis system to categorize clinical psychology. Personality disorders are included in Axis II. The five DSM axes are:
Axis I: Major mental disorders, clinical disorders, developmental disorders and learning disabilities.
Axis II: Underlying pervasive or personality conditions & mental retardation.
Axis III: Medical conditions contributing to the disorder.
Axis IV: Psychosocial and environmental factors contributing to the disorder.
Axis V: Global Assessment of Functioning on a scale from 0 to 100.
---B---
Baiting & Picking Fights - Baiting is the practice of generating a provocative action or statement for the purpose of obtaining an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another person.
Belittling, Condescending & Patronising - Belittling, Condescending & Patronising Speech is a passive aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of friendliness.
Blaming - Blaming is the practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.
BM – Biological Mother
Borderline - Having, or exhibiting the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Click Here for More Info on BPD.
Borderline Personality Disorder - A mental illness which afflicts an estimated 2% of the population. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
Boundaries - Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissable ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
BP (1) - A person who has Borderline Personality Disorder or who appears to exhibit some of its symptoms. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
BPGF - BP Girlfriend - a girlfriend who suffers from BPD or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
BPH - BP Husband - a husband who suffers from BPD or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
BPSO - Borderline Personality Significant Other - a spouse or partner who suffers from BPD or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
Bullying - Bullying is any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic or emotional strength.
Bunny Boiling - Bunny Boiling is a reference to an iconic scene in the movie "Fatal Attraction" in which the main character Alex, who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, kills the family's pet rabbit and boils it on the stove. Bunny Boiling has become a popular reference to how people sometimes exhibit their rage by acting out on the target of their rage "in effigy" by behaving destructively towards symbolic, important or treasured possessions of those whom they wish to hurt, control or intimidate.
Bupropion - a type of antidepressant medication. Common brand names for Bupropion include Wellbutrin or Zyban. Click Here for more info on Bupropion
---C---
Catastrophizing - Catastrophizing is the habit of automatically assuming a "worst case scenario" and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.
CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - a therapy technique which focuses on recognizing and improving a patient’s day to day feelings and decisions. Click Here for More Info on CBT
Charlie Brown –
Charlie Brown is the lead character in Charles M. Schulz's classic "Peanuts" cartoons who is generally portrayed as feeling insecure and seeking acceptance. Charlie Brown's character contrasts with the somewhat narcissistic character of Lucy and their relationship is sometimes used to illustrate the relationship between personality-disordered and non-personality-disordered people.Click Here for More Information on Charlie Brown.
Chaos Manufacture - Chaos Manufacture is the practice of unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion or mess.
Cheating - Cheating is sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else.
Child Abduction - Child Abduction is a serious, yet common occurrence when people who suffer from personality disorders become involved in a custody dispute. Approximately 82% of more than 200,000 child abductions every year are perpetrated by family members.
Chosen - Chosen's are people who are in a marriage, partnership, romantic relationship or friendship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder. They are called "chosen" because they made a choice to enter into that relationship. Chosen's include husbands, wives, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends of a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
Chronic Broken Promises - Chronic Broken Promises are common trait of those who suffer from personality disorders.
Circular Conversations - Circular Conversations are arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no real resolution.
Cluster A Personality Disorder – The DSM-IV Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Categorizes Personality Disorders into 3 Clusters. Cluster A (odd or eccentric disorders) includes Paranoid personality disorder, Schizoid personality disorder & Schizotypal personality disorder. Click Here for More Information on Personality Disorders.
Cluster B Personality Disorder – The DSM-IV Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Categorizes Personality Disorders into 3 Clusters. Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic disorders) includes Antisocial personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Histrionic personality disorder & Narcissistic personality disorder. Click Here for More Information on Personality Disorders.
Cluster C Personality Disorder – The DSM-IV Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Categorizes Personality Disorders into 3 Clusters. Cluster C (anxious or fearful disorders) includes Avoidant personality disorder, Dependent personality disorder & Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Click Here for More Information on Personality Disorders.
Codependency - A Codependency is a relationship in which an otherwise mentally-healthy person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected by an addiction or mental illness.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a therapy technique which focuses on recognizing and improving a patient’s day to day feelings and decisions. Click Here for More Info on CBT.
Cognitive Dissonance - Cognitive Dissonance is a psychological term for the discomfort that most people feel when they encounter information which contradicts their existing set of beliefs or values. People who suffer from personality disorders often experience cognitive dissonance when they are confronted with evidence that their actions have hurt others or have contradicted their stated morals.
Comorbidity - Comorbidity is a psychological term used to describe the occurrence of more than one diagnosis in a single patient. Comorbidity is common in the diagnosis of psychological disorders.Click Here for Information & Statistics on Comorbidity.
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) - Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychological injury that results from prolonged exposure to social or interpersonal trauma, disempowerment, captivity or entrapment, with lack or loss of a viable escape route for the victim.
Compulsive Lying - Compulsive Lying is a term used to describe lying frequently out of habit, without much regard for the consequences to others and without having an obvious motive to lie. A compulsive liar is someone who habitually lies.
Confirmation Bias - Confirmation Bias is the tendency to pay more attention to information which reinforces an existing beliefs than to information which contradicts it.
"Control-Me" Syndrome - "Control-Me" Syndrome describes a tendency that some abuse victims and some people who suffer from personality disorders have to nurture relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or "acting-out" nature.
Coparenting - Coparenting or co-parenting means sharing physical or legal custody of a child when you are separated or divorced.
Court Gender Bias - Because of Court Gender Bias, in the US, a biological mother is 7 times more likely to be awarded full custody of a child than a biological father.
Cruelty To Animals - Acts of Cruelty to Animals have been statistically discovered to occur more often in people who suffer from personality disorders than in the general population.
CPS - Children's Protective Services - Government agency in several US States which investigates and acts upon reports of child abuse.
Cum hoc ergo propter hoc - "Cum hoc ergo propter hoc" is Latin for "with this, therefore because of this" or, in other words "A and B happen at the same time, therefore A must be causing B to happen". The "cum hoc ergo propter hoc" fallacy is a common mistake in the diagnosis and treatment of medical and psychological conditions.
Custody Evaluation - A Custody Evaluation is a procedure ordered by a court in a custody case in which a professional is appointed to recommend to the judge which custody arrangement is in the best interest of the minor children.
DBT - DBT, or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, is a psychosocial treatment developed for patients with borderline personality disorder which combines intensive individual and group therapy.Click Here for More Info on DBT
DCF - Department of Children and Families - Government agency in several US States which investigates and acts upon reports of child abuse.
DD - Dear Daughter
DEAR - Describe, Express (what you want), Assert (the benefit) and Reinforce (the benefit). - The DEAR acronym was developed by pioneering BPD Researcher Dr. Marsha Linehan as an effective way to ask for something you want.
Denial (PD) - Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen.
Denial (Non-PD) -Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen. Non-PD Denial is cycles of particular types of denial that people who live with or are close to personality disordered people are prone to.
Dependency - Dependency is an inappropriate and chronic reliance by one adult individual on another for their health, subsistence, decision making or personal and emotional well- being.
Depression (PD) - When you feel sadder than you think you should, for longer than you think you should - but still can't seem to break out of it - that's depression.
DH - Dear Husband
Dissociation- Dissociation, or disassociation, is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.
Divide And Conquer - Divide and Conquer is a method of gaining and advantage over percieved rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other.
Domestic Theft -Domestic theft is consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to (or shared with) a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.
Dopamine - dopamine acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Increased levels of the neurotransmitters - serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine - has been found to reduce depression. This is the basis for most modern antidepressant medications.
Dishrag Dad - A Dishrag Dad is a father who lacks appropriate boundaries, thus enabling a mother with a personality disorder to abuse him and the children. Click Here for More Common Behaviors of Non-PD's.
Domestic Theft -Domestic theft is consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to (or shared with) a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde -
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is an 1886 book written by Robert Louis Stevenson which has been adapted into numerous movies and stage productions. The story portrays the mild-mannered Doctor Henry Jekyll, who unleashes his monstrous alternate identity, Edward Hyde, by taking a chemical potion.Click Here for More Information about Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
DS - Dear Son
DSM, DSM-IV, DSM-IV-TR - Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders- The American Psychiatric Association's published criteria for mental disorders. Currently in it's 4th revision (DSM-IV) with an additional Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR).
DSS - Department of Social Services - Government agency in several US States which investigates and acts upon reports of child abuse.
DW - Dear Wife
Dysfunctional - Unhealthy, characterized by abuse or conflict, as in a dysfunctional family or dysfunctional relationship.
Dysthymia - Dysthymia is a psychological term for prolonged depression, generally lasting 2 or more years. See More Info on Depression.
---E---
EDD - Emotional Dysregulation Disorder - A Personality Disorder, formerly known as Borderline Personality Disorder. Click Here for More Info on EDD
EMDR - EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a psychological technique sometimes used in the treatment of post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).Click Here for More Info on EMDR.
Emotional Abuse - Emotional Abuse is any pattern of behavior directed at one individual by another which promotes in them a destructive sense of fear, obligation or guilt (FOG).
Emotional Blackmail - Emotional Blackmail describes the use of a system of threats and punishments on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behaviors.
Emotional Dysregulation Disorder - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Click Here for More Info on ERD
Emotional Intelligence - Emotional Intelligence is the often-subconscious "gut feeling" process which forms opinions, makes decisions and reacts to situations based on feelings, instinct and the influence of pain & reward centers of the human brain rather than the facts.
Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) - A Personality Disorder - formerly known as Borderline Personality Disorder. Click Here for More Info on ERD.
Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Click Here for More Info on EUPD.
Emotion-Impulse Regulation Disorder (EIRD) - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Click Here for More Info on EIRD
Emotion Intensity Disorder (EID) - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Click Here for More Info on EID.
Enabler - A person who habitually attempts to placate another by sacrificing their own or other family members needs in a misguided attempt to keep the peace. Click Here for More Info on Enabling.
Enabling - Enabling is a pattern of behavior often adopted by abuse victims which seeks to avoid confrontation and conflict by absorbing the abuse without challenging it or setting boundaries. The perpetrator of the abuse is thus "enabled" to continue their pattern of behavior.
Engulfment - Engulfment is an unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on a spouse, partner or family member, which comes from imagining or believing that one exists only within the context of that relationship.
Entitlement - Entitlement or a 'Sense of Entitlement' is an unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.
ERD - Emotional Regulation Disorder - A Personality Disorder, formerly known as Borderline Personality Disorder. Click Here for More Info on ERD.
EUPD - Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Click Here for More Info on EUPD.
ETOH - Alcohol (Shorthand form of Ethanol, or Ethyl Alcohol)
Everybody Gets to Clean Up Their Own Messes - Everybody Gets to Clean Up Their Own Messes is a principal that encourages us to take responsibility for dealing with our own messes and leave other people to clean up theirs.
---F---
False Accusations - False accusations, distortion campaigns & smear campaigns are patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticisms which occur when a personality disordered individual tries to feel better about themselves by putting down someone else - usually a family member, spouse, partner, friend or colleague.
Fatal Attraction - Fatal Attraction is a 1987 Movie Thriller starring Glenn Close & Michael Douglas about Dan Gallagher, a New York Lawyer (played by Michael Douglas) who is stalked by Alex Forrest (played by Glenn Close) with whom he has had an affair. The story portrays Alex's increasingly unstable behavior as a result of having Borderline Personality Disorder and feeling abandoned by Dan. Click Here for More Info about Fatal Attraction.
Favoritism - Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a group of peers.
Fear of Abandonment - Fear of abandonment and irrational jealousy is a phobia, sometimes exhibited by people with personality disorders, that they are in imminent danger of being rejected, discarded or replaced at the whim of a person who is close to them.
Feelings Of Emptiness - Acute feelings of emptiness often inflict people who suffer from personality disorders which can lead to dysfunctional behaviors in an attempt to feel something real.
FIL – Father In Law
Finding an Attorney - Finding an attorney who knows how to handle cases involving people who suffer from personality disorders is crucial. This article explores some of the things you should consider if you are looking for an attorney.
Fix-It Syndrome - Fix-It Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual frequently puts themselves in the position of a caretaker who is responsible for compensating for their personality-disordered loved-one's behaviors, cleaning up any messes created by their actions and fixing any problems arising from their mental health issues.
Fleas - When a non-personality-disordered individual (Non-PD) begins imitating or emulating some of the disordered behavior of a loved one or family member with a personality disorder this is sometimes referred to as "getting fleas".
FOG - Fear, Obligation & Guilt - The acronym FOG, for Fear, Obligation and Guilt, was first coined by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier in Emotional Blackmail and describes feelings that a person often has when in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder. Our website, Out of the FOG, is named after this acronym.
Abuse Amnesia - Abuse Amnesia is a form of denial in which a victim habitually "forgives and forgets" episodes of abuse when it would be more appropriate - and ultimately better for both parties - to hold them accountable for their own actions.
FOO - Family of Origin – The family that a person was born or raised in.
Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits - Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits are methods of withholding support, harassing or prolonging conflict by bringing unsubstantiated accusations, meritless appeals or diversionary process into a relationship or a former relationship using the court system as a proxy.
GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder- An Axis I Anxiety Disorder described in the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-IV-TR)
Gaslighting - Gaslighting is the practice of brainwashing or convincing a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane or that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. The term "Gaslighting" is based on the 1944 MGM movie “Gaslight”.
GF - Girlfriend
Girl, Interrupted -
Girl, Interrupted is a 1999 Columbia Pictures movie which chronicles the experiences of a teenage girl with Borderline Personality Disorder, who is admitted to a mental health institution after attempting suicide. Click Here for More info on Girl, Interrupted.
Guardian ad litem - A Guardian ad litem is a professional (often an attorney or social worker) appointed by a court to represent a child's interests in a legal proceeding or custody dispute. The Latin term ad litem literally means "for the trial" or "for the proceeding"
---H---
H - Abbreviation for Husband
Haggis - Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish made from parts of a sheep that you have to be insane to eat. Click Here for More info on Haggis.
HAP -
Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP), also known as Parental Alienation, is a term which is used to describe the process of one divorced parent inappropriately influencing a child into thinking that the other parent is bad, evil or worthless. Click Here for More Info on Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation.
Harassment - Harrassment is any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior from one individual to another.
Helen's World of BPD Resources - Resource Site with thousands of articles on Borderline Personality Disorder http://www.bpdresources.com
Hermit - One of the four BPD types (Hermit, Waif, Queen Witch) as defined in Christine Ann Lawson's ground breaking book "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The Hermit describes the mother who withdraws from the world from fear of being hurt. Click Here for More Information on "Understanding The Borderline Mother"
High-Functioning - A High-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is able to conceal their dysfunctional behavior in certain public settings and maintain a positive public or professional profile while exposing their negative traits to family members behind closed doors.
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) - Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is a mental illness which is characterized by a pattern of excessively dramatic, emotional, over-reactive or attention-seeking behavior, an excessive need for approval or inappropriate seductiveness. The term "Histrionic" comes from the Latin for "actor".
Histrionic Sabotage - Histrionic Sabotage is any action designed to hurt or damage the interests of another person or group for the purpose of drawing attention to oneself or to earn a reputation. Click Here for More Info on Sabotage.
Hoovers & Hoovering - A Hoover is a metaphor, taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim, trying to assert their own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship gets "sucked back in" when the perpetrator temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behavior.
Hot Penning - Hot Penning is a technique of journaling where you rapidly write down whatever comes to mind on a topic without taking a break, stopping to think or slowing down to correct spelling & punctuation.
Hostile Aggressive Parenting -
Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP), also known as Parental Alienation, is a term which is used to describe the process of one divorced parent inappropriately influencing a child into thinking that the other parent is bad, evil or worthless. Click Here for More Info on Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation.
Hyper Vigilance - Hyper Vigilance is the practice of maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts and interests of others.
Hypomanic Episode - A distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting throughout at least 4 days, that is clearly different from the usual non-depressed mood, common in Bipolar II Disorder. Click Here for More Info on Bipolar Disorder.
Hysteria - Hysteria is inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.
ICD - International Classification of Diseases - World Health Organization (WHO) system for classifying physical and mental disorders of which ICD-10 is the most recent (1992).
Ideation - Ideation is a psychological term meaning thoughts and ideas. Most commonly used in the context of Suicidal Ideation.
Identity Disturbance - Identity disturbance is a psychological term used to describe a distorted or inconsistent self-view.
IL's - In-laws
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
Imposed Isolation - Isolation from friends, family, peers and supportive communities is common among victims of abuse. Isolation is sometimes caused by a person who has a personality disorder who does not want someone close to them having close relationships with others. Isolation can also be self-imposed by abuse victims, who out of a sense of shame, fear, or guilt fear the consequences of what might happen if outsiders learn too much.
Impulsiveness and Impulsivity - Impulsiveness - or Impulsivity - is the tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.
Impulsive Personality Disorder (IPD) - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as defined by the Chinese Society of Psychiatry's CCMD. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
Intermittent Reinforcement - Intermittent Reinforcement is when rules, rewards or personal boundaries are handed out or enforced inconsistently and occasionally. This usually encourages another person to keep pushing until they get what they want from you without changing their own behavior.
Intimidation - Intimidation is any form of veiled, indirect or non-verbal threat.
Invalidation - Invalidation is the creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless.
IPD - Impulsive Personality Disorder - Another name for Emotional Regulation Disorder (ERD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as defined by the Chinese Society of Psychiatry's CCMD. Click Here for More Info on BPD.
IPDE - International Personality Disorder Examination - The IPDE is a standardized interview of 537 questions used for screening of candidates for personality disorders. The IPDE uses the DSM-IV-TR and ICD-10 criteria and includes a 77 question true/false pre-screener evaluation.
Jekyll & Hyde -
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is an 1886 book written by Robert Louis Stevenson which has been adapted into numerous movies and stage productions. The story portrays the mild-mannered Doctor Henry Jekyll, who unleashes his monstrous alternate identity, Edward Hyde, by taking a chemical potion.Click Here for More Information about Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
---K---
Kansas - "The Wizard of Oz" is a 1944 movie starring Judy Garland which is sometimes used as a metaphor to describe the disconnect between the dissociated reality of the personality-disordered individual (Oz) and the real world experienced by the Non-PD (Kansas). The metaphor is based on the iconic phrase: "Toto - I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more".Click Here for More Info and a clip from "The Wizard of Oz "
Lack of Conscience - Conscience is an innate sense of what is morally or ethically right and wrong, often used as a guide of what is appropriate behavior. A weak conscience or a lack of conscience is characteristic in a number of personality disorders.
Lack of Object Constancy - Object Constancy is a psychological term used to describe the ability to think of other people or objects as "still there", even when they are out of your immediate field of vision. Object constancy is a developmental skill which most children develop at about age 2-3. A lack of object constancy is a symptom of some personality disorders.
LC – Limited Contact – Curtailing most forms of non-essential correspondence, communication and personal contact with a disordered loved one or family member for one’s own protection.
Learned Helplessness- Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe they have no control over a situation, even when they actually do have the power to change their circumstances, leading them into an unneccessary state of depression, where initiative, action or investment is deemed futile.
Leaving Checklist - The Leaving Checklist is a list of things to prepare and things to consider before, during and after separating from a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
Limited Contact – Curtailing most forms of non-essential correspondence, communication and personal contact with a disordered loved one or family member for one’s own protection.
Lightbulb Moment - A Lightbulb Moment is the description many non-personality-disordered individuals use when they first discover the existence of personality disorders and have, for the first time, a plausible explanation for the strange frightening behaviors of a loved-one or family member who suffers from a personality disorder and learn that their situation is not uncommon. It is as if a light were just turned on.
Lose-Lose Scenarios - No-Win Scenarios and Lose-Lose Scenarios are situations commonly created by people who suffer from personality disorders where they present two bad options to someone close to them and pressure them into choosing between the two. This usually leaves the non-personality-disordered person with a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" feeling. Click Here for More Info on No-Win and Lose-Lose Scenarios.
Low-Functioning - A Low-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is unable to conceal their dysfunctional behavior from public view or maintain a positive public or professional profile.
Low Self-Esteem - Low Self-Esteem is a common name for a negatively-distorted self-view which is inconsistent with reality. People who have low self-esteem often see themselves as unworthy of being successful in personal and professional settings and in social relationships. They may view their successes and their strenghts in a negative light and believe that others see them in the same way. As a result, they may develop an avoidance strategy to protect themselves from criticism.
---M---
Major Depressive Episode - A distinct period of depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure lasting 2 weeks or more, common among people who suffer from Bipolar Disorder. Click Here for More Info on Bipolar Disorder.
Making Choices - Choices are the opportunities we have to change things for the better - or worse.
Manic Episode - A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week, common among people who suffer from Bipolar Disorder. Click Here for More Info on Bipolar Disorder.
Manipulation - Manipulation is the practice of baiting an individual or group of individuals into a certain response or reaction pattern for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal goal.
MAOI - Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor - a category of strong antidepressant medications, normally reserved for severe cases because of their associated side effects. Click Here for more info on MAOI's
Masking - Masking describes the practice of covering up one's own natural outward appearance, mannerisms, speech and interests etc. in dramatic and inconsistent ways depending on the situation occurring or the people observing.
Medium Chill – Maintaining a distant relationship with a family member and taking steps to protect oneself from being hurt when direct contact is unavoidable.
Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) - a psychological test commonly performed in custody evaluations to evaluate the psychological characteristics of the divorcing parents. See MMPI Info.
Mirroring - Mirroring is a term which describes imitating or copying another person's characteristics, behaviors or traits.
MMPI - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory - a psychological test commonly performed in custody evaluations to evaluate the psychological characteristics of the divorcing parents. See MMPI Info.
Moments Of Clarity - Moments of Clarity are spontaneous, temporary periods when a person with a personality disorder is able to see beyond their own world view and can, for a brief period, understand, acknowledge, articulate and begin to make amends for their dysfunctional behavior.
Mood Swings - Mood swings are unpredictable rapid, dramatic cycles of mood which can not be readily explained by changes in external circumstances.
MPD (1) - Multiple Personality Disorder - old name for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Click Here for More Info on MPD
Munchausen's and Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome (MBPS) - Munchausen's Syndrome is a disorder in which an individual repeatedly fakes or exaggerates their own illness or medical symptoms in order to manipulate the attentions of medical professionals or personal caregivers. Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome (MBPS) or Munchausen's Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP) is a form of child abuse in which a parent systematically manufactures, fabricates or exaggerates the appearance of illness in a child in order to draw attention to themselves, elevate their own importance and manipulate the attentions of caregivers and medical professionals.
My Stuff/Your Stuff- My Stuff/Your Stuff is a thought technique of reminding yourself to separate what is really your responsibility, your concern and under your control and what is a personality-disordered individual's responsibility, concern and under their control.
---N---
Name-Calling - Name-Calling is a form of Verbal Abuse which people sometimes indulge in when their emotional thought processes take control from their rational thought processes.
NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness, the nation’s largest organization for people with mental illness and their families. NAMI operates a website www.nami.org, help line, education programs, support groups & advocacy.
Narcissism - Narcissism is a term used to describe a set of behaviors characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, self-centered focus, need for admiration, self-serving attitude and a lack of empathy or consideration for others. The name comes from the Greek Mythological Character Narcissus, who rejected love from others and fell in love with his own reflection in the water. These characteristics are common in people who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Narcissist - A person who behaves with a pattern of selfishness, grandiosity, need for admiration, self-focus and a lack of empathy or consideration toward others. The name comes from the Greek Mythological Character Narcissus, who rejected love from others and fell in love with his own reflection in the water. See NPD Description
Narcissistic - Behavior characterized by a pattern of selfishness, grandiosity, need for admiration, self-focus and a lack of empathy or consideration toward others. The name comes from the Greek Mythological Character Narcissus, who rejected love from others and fell in love with his own reflection in the water. See NPD Description.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - A mental illness characterized by pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy or consideration toward others. See NPD Description.
Narcissistic Sabotage - Narcissistic Sabotage is any action designed to hurt, or damage the interests of another person or group for the purpose of making a direct, personal gain.Click Here for More Information on Sabotage.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - US organization for people with mental illness and their families. NAMI operates a website www.nami.org, help line, education programs, support groups & advocacy.
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD) - Organization formed to raise public awareness, provide education, promote research and enhance the quality of life of those affected by BPD. http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) - US Government-funded scientific organization dedicated to research focused on the understanding, treatment, and prevention of mental disorders and the promotion of mental health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/
NEA-BPD - National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder. Organization formed to raise public awareness, provide education, promote research and enhance the quality of life of those affected by BPD. http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/
Neglect - Neglect is a passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of an individual who is incapable of providing for themselves are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them.
NIMH - National Institute of Mental Health - US Government-funded scientific organization dedicated to research focused on the understanding, treatment, and prevention of mental disorders and the promotion of mental healthhttp://www.nimh.nih.gov/
No Contact (NC) - Going "No Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a personality disorder in order to protect yourself from recurring abuse.
Non -
A Non (or Non-PD) is any person who has a family member, or is in a relationship with, a person who suffers from a personality disorder.Click Here for More Information about Non's.
Non-BP - a person who cares about or is in a relationship with a person who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Click Here for More Information about Non's.
Non-Non - a person who is in a relationship with a Non. Typically, a Non-Non is a person who moves in with or marries a divorced or separated Non and inherits some of the issues of dealing with their personality-disordered ex-spouse or parent. Click Here for More Information about Non's.
Non-PD -
A Non (or Non-PD) is any person who has a family member, or is in a relationship with, a person who suffers from a personality disorder.Click Here for More Information about Non's.
Nook (1) - A support site for Non's which was the predecessor of this site. Closed in 2007.
Nook2 - The old name for this site - Out of the FOG - established November 1, 2007.
Nook (3) - Another spin off site for Non's which was started after the shut-down of the original Nook. http://www.thenook4pds.com
Norepinephrine - norepinephrine acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Increased levels of the neurotransmitters - serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine - has been found to reduce depression. This is the basis for most modern antidepressant medications.
No-Win Scenarios - No-Win Scenarios and Lose-Lose Scenarios are situations commonly created by people who suffer from personality disorders where they present two bad options to someone close to them and pressure them into choosing between the two. This usually leaves the non-personality-disordered person with a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" feeling.
NPD (2) - A person who suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms. Click Here for More Info on NPD
---O---
Obedience - The Stanley Milgram Experiment -
In 1961 and 1962, Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram performed a famous series of experiments which demonstrated that about 2 out of 3 people will perform a cruel action towards another person if instructed to do so by someone whom they regard as an authority figure. This demonstrated that most people are prone to doing something they do not want to do, even something they would normally regard as "wrong", just because they are told to do it by an assertive or authoritative person. Click Here for More Information About the Stanley Milgram Experiment.
Oz -
"The Wizard of Oz" is a 1944 movie starring Judy Garland which is sometimes used as a metaphor to describe the disconnect between the dissociated reality of the personality-disordered individual (Oz) and the real world experienced by the Non-PD (Kansas). The metaphor is based on the iconic phrase: "Toto - I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more". Click Here for More Info and a clip from "The Wizard of Oz "
Parallel Parenting - Parallel Parenting is a form of parenting in which a divorced couple assume or are assigned specific parental duties while minimizing or eliminating contact with each other, thus minimizing exposure of the children to potential conflict.
Parental Alienation Syndrome - Parental Alienation Syndrome is a term which is used to describe the process by which one parent, who is typically divorced or separated from the other biological parent, uses their influence to make a child believe that the other estranged parent is bad, evil or worthless.
Parentification - Parentification is a form of role reversal, in which a child of a personality-disordered parent is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the other children.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior - Passive Aggressive behavior is the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive, passive way (such as through procrastination and stubbornness).
Pathology – A Pathology is a psychological term for an abnormal or unhealthy mental condition.
Pathological – Pathological is a psychological term meaning "abnormal" or "unhealthy".
Pathological Lying - Pathological lying is persistent lying in order to serve one's own needs or desires with little or no regard to the needs or concers of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own interests.
PDAN - Personality Disorders Awareness Network - A non-profit organization dedicated to supporting projects that help children, families, and others understand and cope with Borderline Personality Disorder" http://www.pdan.org
Perfectionism - Perfectionism is the practice of holding oneself or others to an unrealistic, unsustainable or unattainable standard of organization, order or accomplishment in one particular area of living, while sometimes neglecting common standards of organization, order or accomplishment in others.
Personal Safety - Personal Safety is a list of actions that are designed to keep situations from escalating and to make sure that Physical, Emotional and Verbal abuse is avoided or stopped at the first moment it begins to happen. It contains lists of 1. When to stop the conversation, 2. When to leave the room and 3. When to call the police.
Physical Abuse - Physical Abuse is any form of voluntary behavior by one individual which promotes pain, disease or discomfort on another or deprives them of necessary health, nutrition and comfort.
Placebo Effect - The Placebo Effect is when a medical patient is given a "placebo" or fake medicine - one in which there is no ingredient known to have any effect on their stated medical condition, but the patient, believing that the medicine is real, starts to feel better or reports an improvement in their symptoms.
Post hoc ergo propter hoc - "Post hoc ergo propter hoc" is latin for "After this, therefore because of this" or in other words "If B happened after A, then A must have caused B to happen". The "Post hoc ergo propter hoc" fallacy is a common mistake in the diagnosis and treatment of medical and psychological conditions.
PPD (1) - Paranoid personality disorder.
PPD (2) - A person who suffers from PPD (1) or exhibits some of its symptoms.
Projection - Projection is the act of attributing one's own feelings or traits onto another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.
Professional Avoidance - Professional Avoidance of Individuals who suffer from Personality Disorders describes a common reluctance among mental health providers to diagnose or treat individuals whom they suspect may suffer from a personality disorder.
Proxy Recruitment - Proxy Recruitment is a way of controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into unwittingly backing you up, speaking for you or "doing your dirty work" for you.
Psychological Evaluation - A Psychological Evaluation is a procedure, typically carried out as part of a court proceeding, in which a mental health professional is appointed by the court to determine a diagnosis or label for a person's psychology, behavior or personality and to make recommendations which a judge can take into account when making a ruling.
PTSD (1) - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (often shortened form of C-PTSD - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
PTSD (2) - A person who suffers from PTSD or exhibits some of its symptoms.
Push-Pull - Push-Pull is a chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.
Putting Children First - Putting Children First means making decisions based on "what is in the best interests of the children", regardless of the consequences for the parents and any other parties involved.
PUVAS - Pay attention, Understand, Validate, Assert, Shift/Share responsibility - The PUVAS Acronym was created by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger in the book: "Stop Walking on Eggshells" as a method of responding to rages or outbursts.
---Q---
Queen - One of the four BPD types (Hermit, Waif, Queen Witch) as defined in Christine Ann Lawson's ground breaking book "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The Queen describes the mother who seeks ultimate control over others in the family. Click Here for More Information on "Understanding The Borderline Mother"
---R---
Rachel Getting Married - Rachel Getting Married is a 2008 Sony Pictures Classics Release starring Anne Hathaway which chronicles the events surrounding the appearance of a young woman who suffers from Antisocial Personality Disorder at her sister's wedding. Click Here for More info on Rachel Getting Married.
Raging, Violence & Impulsive Aggression - Raging, Violence and Impulsive Aggression are unprovoked verbal or emotional attacks or elevations of a dispute, sometimes accompanied by violence or the destruction of property, which threaten the security or safety of another individual - or violates their personal boundaries.
Ranking & Comparing - Ranking is the practice of drawing unrequested comparisons between individuals or groups for the purpose of raising one's own self-esteem or lowering someone else's sense of self-worth relative to a peer group.
RCE - Registered Custody Evaluator - a person appointed by the court in a custody case to recommend to the judge which custody arrangement is in the best interests of the children. Click Here for More Info on Custody Evaluators.
Rescuer Syndrome -Rescuer Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual mistakenly assumes that their own skills and qualities are adequate to cure or compensate for their personality-disordered loved-one's mental health issues, often disregarding medical or professional best-practice and attempts to cure the personality disorder through their own personal effort.
Riding The Emotional Elevator - The Emotional Elevator is a way of describing how people who suffer from personality disorders and those closest to them sometimes take a fast track down to different levels of emotional maturity.
RTC - Residential Treatment Center - a live-in therapy/behavior modification facility for adolescents. Some RTC's are lock-down facilities.
Rules Of Relationships - Rules of Relationships are a series of ideas for non-personality-disordered individuals to consider when thinking about getting involved in romantic relationships.
---S---
Sabotage - Sabotage is the impulsive disruption of a calm or harmonious status quo in a relationship or domestic situatuion, occasionally perpetrated by those with Personality Disorders, in order to serve a personal interest, to provoke a conflict or to draw attention to themselves.
SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder - A condition in which the sufferer becomes depressed during a particular season - usually winter. Common in extreme Northern & Southern Latitudes
Scapegoating - Scapegoating is the practice of singling out one child, employee or member of a group of peers for unmerited negative treatment or blame.
SCID-II - Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-IV Axis II Personality Disorders - a standardized instrument for diagnoses of the 10 DSM-IV Axis II personality disorders, plus Depressive Personality Disorder, Passive-aggressive Personality Disorder, and "Personality Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified".
Selective Competence - Selective Competence is demonstrating intelligence, resourcefulness, strength or competence in one setting or environment (for example, at work) and lack of the same qualities in another (such as in the home).
Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia - Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia is the use of memory, or a lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief or desired outcome.
Self-Aggrandizement - Self-Aggrandizement is a pattern of pompous behavior, boasting, narcissism or competitiveness designed to create an appearance of superiority.
Self-Harm - Self Harm, also known as self-mutilation, self-injury or self-abuse is any form of deliberate, premeditated injury inflicted on oneself, common among adolescents and among people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. Most common forms are cutting and poisoning/overdosing.
Self-Loathing - Self Loathing is an extreme self-hatred of one's own self, actions or one's ethnic or demographic background.
Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization, or "playing the victim" is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.
Serotonin - Serotonin acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Increased levels of the neurotransmitters - serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine - has been found to reduce depression. This is the basis for most modern antidepressant medications.
SET - Support, Empathy, Truth - System for communicating with people who suffer from BPD recommended in the book "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold Kriesman
Sexual Allegations in Divorce (SAID) - Sexual Allegations In Divorce (SAID) is a common occurrence in disputed child custody cases in which one parent makes false or exaggerated claims about sexual abuse of a minor child at the hands of the other parent.
Sexual Objectification - Sexual Objectification is the act of prioritizing another individual's sexual utility or attractiveness above or at the expense of having a quality of personal realtionship with them.
Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are bad. Invalidation is a form of Shaming.
Silent Treatment - The Silent Treatment is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.
Single White Female - Single White Female is a 1992 Columbia Pictures Release starring Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh which portrays the events after a young woman takes in a roommate who exhibits some of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) including mirroring, impulsivity and fear of abandonment. Click Here for more info on SIngle White Female.
Situational Ethics - Situational Ethics is a philosophy which promotes the idea that, when dealing with a crisis, the end justifies the means and that a rigid interpretation of the rules, laws and moral codes should be temporarily set aside if a greater good or lesser evil is served by doing so. Understanding situational ethics in the presence of dissociative thought sometimes explains the apparently unethical behavior of people who suffer from personality disorders.
Sleep Deprivation - Sleep Deprivation is the practice of routinely interrupting, impeding or restricting another person's sleep cycle.
SNRI -Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor - a type of antidepressant. Commonly prescribed SNRI's include Effexor and Cymbalta. Click Here for more info on SNRI's
Splitting - Splitting is the behavior of treating, speaking of or thinking of people & situations as if they were completely "good" or completely "bad" and to occasionally switch between thinking of them as "all good" or "all bad".
Splitting (2) - Splitting is the title of a popular book offering legal advice on divorcing or separating a borderline or narcissist by William Eddy.
Split Black - When a person is temporarily regarded as "all bad" they are referred to as "split black".
Split White - When a person is temporarily regarded as "all good" they are referred to as "split white".
SSRI - SSRI's, or Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor's, are the most commonly prescribed antidepressants for people who suffer from personality disorders. Popular SSRI's include Celexa, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, & Zoloft. Click Here for more info on SSRI's
Stalking - Stalking is any pervasive and unwelcome pattern of pursuing contact with another individual.
Stockholm Syndrome - Stockholm Syndrome is when a hostage, kidnap victim or abuse victim develops a sense of loyalty or co-operation towards their captor or abuser, disregarding the abuse or the danger and protecting or sustaining the perpetrator.
Stunted Emotional Growth - Stunted Emotional Growth is a difficulty, reluctance or inability to learn from mistakes, work on self improvement or develop more effective coping strategies.
Sybil - Sybil is a 1976 movie which portrays the life of a woman who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) / Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Click Here for More Information About Sybil.
Targeted Humor - Targeted Humor is any sustained pattern of joking, sarcasm or mockery which is designed to reduce another individual's reputation in their own eyes or in the eyes of others.
Testing - Testing is a common practice among people who suffer from personality disorders where a person close to them is put in the position of proving their love or commitment to the relationship by enduring a hardship, sacrificing a pleasure or treasured asset or foregoing a personal goal or ethic.
Thought Policing - Thought Policing is any process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence another persons thoughts or feelings.
Threats - Threats are written or verbal warnings of intentional, inappropriate, destructive actions or consequences.
Time Out - A Time-Out is a decision to temporarily disengage from an argument, conversation, interpersonal situation or conflict.
Triggering -Triggers are small, insignificant or minor actions, statements or events that produce an inappropriately large response.
Tunnel Vision - Tunnel Vision is the habit or tendency to only see or focus on a single priority while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities.
---U---
U - Undiagnosed
uBP - Undiagnosed person who has Borderline Personality Disorder or who appears to exhibit some of its symptoms
uAPD - Undiagnosed person who has Antisocial Personality Disorder or who appears to exhibit some of its symptoms.
uBPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or exhibits some of its symptoms.
uDPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms.
uHPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) or exhibits some of its symptoms.
uMPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms.
Unapologetic Nature - An Unapologetic Nature is common among personality-disordered individuals, who often find strong emotionally-based justifications for their behaviors.
Unchosen - Unchosen's are people who are in a family relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder. they are called "unchosen" because they had no choice in entering into that relationship. Unchosen's include children, parents, siblings or relatives of a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
uNPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or appears to exhibit some of its symptoms.
uPPD - Undiagnosed person who suffers from Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) or exhibits some of its symptoms.
UTBM - "Understanding The Borderline Mother" - a popular book by author Christine Lawson. See Unchosen Books
---V---
Validation - Validation is the process of actively listening to a person as they describe their feelings, echoing back their stated emotions and responding that their feelings are their own property, are legitimate and have value.
Verbal Abuse - Verbal Abuse is any kind of repeated pattern of inappropriate, derogatory or threatening speech directed at one individual by another.
Waif - One of the four BPD types (Hermit, Waif, Queen Witch) as defined in Christine Ann Lawson's ground breaking book "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The Waif describes the mother who casts herself as a helpless victim. Click Here for More Information on "Understanding The Borderline Mother"
Witch - One of the four BPD types (Hermit, Waif, Queen Witch) as defined in Christine Ann Lawson's ground breaking book "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The Witch describes the mother who takes pleasure in hurting others in the family. Click Here for More Information on "Understanding The Borderline Mother"
Wizard of Oz - "The Wizard of Oz" is a 1944 movie starring Judy Garland which is sometimes used as a metaphor to describe the disconnect between the dissociated reality of the personality-disordered individual (Oz) and the real world experienced by the Non-PD (Kansas). The metaphor is based on the iconic phrase: "Toto - I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more". Click Here for More Info and a clip from "The Wizard of Oz "
Working On Ourselves - Working On Ourselves means taking some of our energy, time and focus off of the personality disordered people in our lives and restoring a more healthy balance where we spend an appropriate amount of time on improving our own situation, regardless of what the person who suffers from the personality disorder does.
ZZZ - Snoring - what you should be doing if you read this entire glossary.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or partner who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
Sep 1, 2010 - We have just completed the first of what will be an annual leadership nomination and election cycle. In addition to Gary being reconfirmed as site owner and MoGlow, Haggis & Aames being reconfirmed as Admins, Klarity Belle and 2bad were appointed as new moderators. Please join us in welcoming Klarity Belle and 2bad to the OOTF leadership team.
Jul 21, 2010 - We will shortly be bidding farewell to an old friend - our original "nook2.com" url. She has served us well! Please update all bookmarks and links to point to the new Out of the FOG domain at http://www.outofthefog.net
New Leadership Guidelines Posted
Jun 23, 2010 - New Out of the FOG Leadership Guidelines have been developed. These explain the process we intend to use at Out of the FOG to appoint new moderators, admins and site owners going forward. Our goal is to implement a consistent, transparent and sustainable process for leadership changes and to introduce a component of accountability.
