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Welcome to Out of the FOG!

Out of the FOG is an information site and support group offering help to family members and loved-ones of people who suffer from personality disorders.

Out of the FOG was written and developed by people who have experienced a relationship with a family member, spouse or partner who suffers from a Personality Disorder.

Personality Disorders are serious mental-health conditions which affect millions of people and are often misunderstood and undiagnosed.

Personality Disorders negatively affect the quality of life not only of the people who suffer from them, but also their family members, spouses, partners, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

The emphasis of Out of the FOG is on describing Personality Disorders from a Non-Personality-Disordered individual’s point of view. In other words; what is it like to live with a person with NPD or BPD? Where can you find help when you have a parent with a Histrionic or Dependent Personality Disorder? How do you cope when confronted with the prospect of caring for someone with Obsessive-Compulsive or Avoidant Personality Disorder?

The descriptions of Personality Disorders given here are based on both the clinical criteria used for formal diagnosis, and on the experiences of people who have cared for someone who suffers from a Personality Disorder - what it feels like, what works and what doesn’t.

We often think of people in simple terms such as ‘good and bad’, ‘friends and enemies’, ‘loving and hateful’. Personality Disorders are not so simple. People who suffer from them may exhibit behaviors which are sometimes constructive and other times destructive. Over time, this can generate feelings of Fear, Obligation and Guilt (or FOG) in those who come into contact with them.

It is our goal to inform and support family members, spouses, partners, friends and caregivers as they try to work their way out of the confusion, out of the chaos and out of the FOG.

Out of the FOG contains:

Introductions to Personality Disorders

Click Here for the Top 100 Behaviors & Traits of people who suffer from personality disorders.

Our Personality Disorders Introduction Section also contains descriptions of the various personality disorders including:

  • APD - Antisocial (Anti-social) Personality Disorder
  • AVPD - Avoidant Personality Disorder
  • BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder
  • DPD - Dependent Personality Disorder
  • HPD - Histrionic Personality Disorder
  • NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • OCPD - Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
  • PPD - Paranoid Personality Disorder
  • SPD - Schizoid Personality Disorder
  • STPD - Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Relationship Descriptions

These sections describe what it's like to be in a relationship with an individual who suffers from a personality disorder. There are several different types of relationship including:

  • Relationship Partners such as spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends and significant others including the challenges of:


  • Visit our online Support Forum, an online message board and support group where you can talk to others who are in a similar situation as yourself, learn and get help from others in our online community.
  • Browse through our Top 100 Traits Section. It's packed full of information about some of the different types of behaviors you might encounter when you are living in a relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder. Each section includes examples, descriptions of what it feels like and good and bad ideas for coping with difficult or challenging behaviors.
  • Our Toolbox contains lots of helpful ideas on what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder, how to cope, what works and what doesn't.
  • Our comprehensive online Personality Disorder Glossary contains definitions of terms and links to more information.
  • Information about Treatment Options
  • Ideas for Working on Ourselves
  • Books about personality disorders and relationships.
  • Links to more information at other helpful personality disorder sites.

Feel free to explore the Out of the FOG website, browse our Bookstore and join our Support Forum!

About our Name - Out of the FOG:

Dealing with a loved-one or family member who suffers from a personality disorder can sometimes feel like navigating through a fog.

People often arrive at the Out of the FOG website feeling a range of emotions from anger to bewilderment to hopelessness from trying to cope with the confusing behaviors exhibited by a personality-disordered individual.

The acronym FOG stands for Fear, Obligation & Guilt - feelings which often result from being in a relationship with a person who suffers from a Personality Disorder. It was first coined by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier in their book Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You.

If you have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, it is our hope the information in this book may help you navigate out of the FOG in your own life.

Note: At this site, we often use the term “Non” to refer to the partner, colleague, relative or friend of someone with a Personality Disorder – we think it’s a lot less cumbersome than “person without a Personality Disorder” or “Non-Personality-Disordered individual”. See our Glossary to learn more terms and acronyms.

For More Information & Support...

If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.

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OOTF proudly announces the publication of our e-book:

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Out of the FOG

Information & Support for those

with a family member or loved one

who suffers from a personality disorder


by Gary Walters

and the Out of the FOG Team


Available on the following platforms:

Amazon Kindle

Apple iPad & iPhone

Barnes & Noble Nook


Earth Animated GifOOTF Latest News Blog...

Out of the Storm - New CPTSD Support Site

August 25, 2014 - OOTF announce an exciting new development - it's called Out of the Storm - a support site specifically designed for people who suffer from CPTSD - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. At OOTF we have often welcomed members who are dealing with CPTSD as a consequence of having been in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder. Nevertheless, for a long time we have recognized that CPTSD sufferers have a distinct and unique set of concerns and issues.

Out of the Storm is now online at CPTSD.org

1/4 Million Messages

April 28, 2014 - OOTF has reached a milestone with a quarter million messages posted on our support board.


New "Future Goals" Forum

Nov 9, 2013 - OOTF has just launched a new "Future Goals" forum. This forum is a safe place to store your goals of what you would like to achieve. Setting goals can help us move forward, and give us something to focus on while we are working our way through day to day issues. Goals can change, be amended or added to over time as we either achieve them, or determine new goals as our lives unfold.


News Archives...


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Visit our Library of Personality Disorder Books:

See the Complete Book List


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