She called my job...again...

[freedom77]

Today's my day off...I get a text this morning from a co-worker who has known me for years and years (and knows a little bit about my struggles with BPD/N PD mother). Text says "your mom called work today and told charge nurse she hurt her foot and you won't call her. " I felt mildly embarrassed. That particular charge nurse isn't someone who is fond of me, so that makes it worse.

I can only imagine how she rambled on about what a horrible daughter I am, how can a NURSE abandon one's own mother??, how she's left all alone and has to walk to the grocery store...what an awful horrible person I've always been after all she's done for me.

She's done this move before....several times in my life. She even got me fired once.

I checked my spam folder to see what types of emails lurk there. And sure enough she sent one not admitting to calling my job, but eluding to it..."guess it'll look real good on your resume, a nurse who abandons her poor old mother".

She used to have a car I provided her to use at her disposal. She made it so miserable that I had to take the car away. I have two vehicles. I gave her one, all expenses paid to use as much as she wanted. She made such a thing out of it. She claimed the neighbors were tampering with it. They weren't. And that I had to keep it at my house. Then...when she needed to use it (which was all the time) I had to bring it over, then she'd drive me back to my place, then after she was done doing whatever (could be an hour, could be several) she'd arrive back at my place, and I'd have to then drive her back to her place, drop her off, bring vehicle back to my place. Alternatively, I could hang out at her place for an hour, maybe several waiting for her to come back, to then take the vehicle back with me.

This tactic essentially ruined every single day off I had. So I said, enough is enough. I felt she was making a colossal fool out of me. I put my foot down, and told her: The vehicle either stays over here with you, or you can't use it anymore. This, of course, invoked BPD rage, accusations, and she basically told me to keep the vehicle, she'll walk. Alrighty then. This blow up was right before NC ensued when I found out how bad she was behaving with my DD behind my back.

So yeah, it's true. She has to walk now because that was a choice she drove me to, no pun intended. Luckily, there's a major plaza right in front of her complex with lots of shops and a major grocer. For medical, she has free taxi with her insurance.

Well now the story told in an email, is she was walking to the grocery store, and stepped in a huge pothole that she somehow did not see, and twisted her ankle. Of course it's all my fault, because I snatched the vehicle away from her. She apparently hasn't gone to hospital, doctor to have it looked at. She's done this before, had "medical emergencies" to hoover me back in, then a series of miracles unfolded and the crisis cleared itself up.

[Thru the Rain]

Crazy making!

She's loving putting you in a lose-lose situation. Either you give up all your days off catering to her unusual set-up with her (your!) car.  Or she makes herself miserable and calls your coworkers/supervisor to intentionally embarrass you. 

I'm smacking my own forehead in sympathy for you.

[Adrianna]

Infuriating but predictable. The chaos they stir up cannot be overstated.

It too late for this job since she has your number but future jobs don't tell her where you work or provide a phone number.

Sorry to be blunt but they can destroy lives if you let them. Don't give her access to you and I hope you can lower your contact with her as much as possible. There will always be people who don't understand and will guilt you but that's not your problem. You know the truth! You know nothing you do would ever be enough. Her manipulating the truth and spewing lies is out of your control.

I had stopped giving my grandmother my work number when I changed jobs.

Don't let her create more drama and seriously limit interactions with her. She's being emotionally abusive. Eventually you may just have to tell people that for your own well-being, you have had to limit contact with her due to her abusive behavior. It's your right and obligation to protect yourself from her.