He is in treatment

[candy]

BP(2)PD agreed to be institutionalized. Finally. He is in his early seventies. It took him to be cured of cancer and develop a somatic symptom disorder to finally seek out for help.

It is hard for him and hard to watch. At this point PDF has no understanding of his physical  symptoms being his mind telling him it is in pain. Has anyone been there? What did you do? Did you try to ,,translate"? Did you step back and let the professionals do the(ir) work?
How can I be helpful?

He is unbelievable sad and depressed. He is all about himself. It is painful to watch him, be detached but keep on caring anyway. I keep the kids away from him as he talks about dying a lot and is suicidal at times. I witnessed PDF and PDM being depressed and suicidal myself when I was a child and I do not want my children to repeat any of this. My three year old once cried at night because she was worried about grandpa being ill 

I don't know what I expect from this post. Guess I want someone to know. I truly thank you for reading.

Stay healthy everyone!

[treesgrowslowly]

I feel for you.

As a parent I will say that you are doing the right thing by keeping the kids from hearing him talk about dying and suicide. Kids have no real way of processing that without a lot of help and as much as possible our shielding them from it is the best thing for them.

From what you write it sounds like he is conveying emotions that kids really can't understand and it is his narcissism that prevents him from respecting their little ears.

Their time with him should probably be short visits if anything. Like you said you know all to well what it is like for a parent to burden a child with their emotional traumas.

He should be taking to a professional about his depression. They would know if medication suits his condition or not. That isn't something you could know really.

I have not been in your situation. If my child had this condition I would tell them to listen to the professionals.

These are unbelievably hard emotions to deal with and my heart goes out to you. Hopefully others here with more experience with a PD parent in hospital can add more.

Trees

[candy]

From what you write it sounds like he is conveying emotions that kids really can't understand and it is his narcissism that prevents him from respecting their little ears.

Exactly. He is currently not respecting anyone's ears. He is screaming, crying, switching from oh help me please to you're the devil and I'm gonna sue you. I cannot say if these  are deliberate manipulation tactics or part of his disorder (like he cannot help himself). I really try to not take anything personal but it is exhausting.

[treesgrowslowly]

I hear you on that front.

It is exhausting. Whether they (PDs) can help it or not it is exhausting. Whether they can change it or not it is exhausting for us.

Some of my current favorite pins on my pinterest feed are about different ways we set limits for things that are exhausting. Like setting a time limit for visits with certain people we know.

When their behaviour is exhausting it is ok to set limits for how much we will engage.

Trees