“Mommy and Daddy”?

[Call Me Cordelia]

We have an old book of my husband's. It was a Christmas gift from his parents. His mother inscribed the flyleaf, "Merry Christmas with love from Mommy and Daddy," in loopy cursive. She put the date, too. My husband would have been fifteen years old. 

[Andeza]

I went to college with a girl who, at 20 years old, still referred to her parents as "Mommy" and "Daddy." Now... I'm not saying it can't be a part of a healthy relationship, but in that case it definitely wasn't.

[Call Me Cordelia]

I get it. My preteen boy still insists on calling me "Mommy," for what it's worth. DH did not do so at 15. But something about the self-reference as such along with the junior high girly handwriting just got me all

[moglow]

Thats just icky to me somehow  Cordelia. Granted, my father was and will always be Daddy. Dad just never fit him somehow. Mother was insistent on mother, I dont remember ever calling her anything else.  There's a distance implied there, even from our earliest days. Rather telling when I look at it now.

[clara]

Toxic parenting 101.  Keep the manipulation and control going by encouraging the child to always think of the parents in child-like terms, no matter how old they are.  "Mommie Dearest" (whether or not it's true) is a well-known example.  My severely disordered SIL refers to her deceased parents as "mommy and daddy", as well as several friends who had toxic parents.  To me, it's a red flag.

[BeautifulCrazy]

This is one I picked out in my teens!!
It has been a reliable "tell" over the course of my life.... Parents who refer to themselves, or children over pre-teen who refer to their parents as, "Mommy" and / or "Daddy".  There is something not quite right there.
The exceptions are easy to recognize. I knew a couple of girls (and later, women) who only ever called their dad, "Daddy". It was never weird, that was just the term. It was a cultural and appropriate thing. 

I have also noticed in the past decade that adults who use baby talk fit into this "not quite right" category. Obviously, it is appropriate in certain circumstances, like with babies, pets or a cherished child, or maybe at home privately in certain situations. But not when speaking with other adults, or anytime in public. If I encounter this now, I know right away that I am only ever going to be discussing the weather with this person, if I can't just avoid them completely.

[Pepin]

DH is in his 50s and called DPD CN MIL, mommy.  I *loathed* hearing him say the word and just typing it in this post is icky.

DPD CN MIL also used the baby voice as well with DH.  They had an odd relationship in my opinion.  Not healthy, enmeshed.  She's passed now and I'm hoping DH can heal and understand that he was abused and stop the excuses for her behavior. 

[Mintstripes]

Ew. Through the lens of dysfunction, that is definitely weird.

My daughter stopped calling me Mommy when she was about 3, when she graduated to "Mo-o-om"  She sometimes calls me Mama when she wants to snuggle or be affectionate.

My UnPDxh always called his mother Mommy when he and his brother spoke. It was so weird. But so were a lot of things lol

[11JB68]

I did that with my parents for a long time. One time I 'tested out' saying MOM and got surprise/outrage.
But mom was some kind of likely uPD (my T suggested BPD, I think some combo of maybe that and OCPD, so it was more likely a control thing with her and trying to keep me infantalized)
So I really stopped 'calling' them ANYthing as it got embarrassing

[JustKeepTrying]

reading these comments and i can hear them in my head - it's like fingernails on a chalkboard. creepy