Imagined stories?

[losingmyself]

I just wanted to share this story from this weekend here, because I really have nowhere else to share it. It is a common occurrence.

My dd was staying for the weekend, my h tries to 'catch her' in any nefarious activity she might be involved in, to bolster his view that she's 'bad'.  She's a good kid. She sits around too much and has a weight  problem, but that doesn't change anything about her. I think she's great.
Shortly after I divorced my ex, he dated a woman, I don't know for how long, or anything about their relationship, nor do I care to learn. Just don't care. The kids met her, and told us about her, that she was nice, they liked her.. We coincidentally, got to know her through her place of employment. 
Fast forward, she ended up marrying my h's cousin.
We saw them at an event this weekend, and my h pointed her out to my dd, who said she didn't remember her.
Of course, to him, this was a big fat lie, and then he kept answering any question I asked with "I can't remember."   My guess is that she didn't recognize her, It was almost 10 years ago, and I don't know how many times she even saw her.
His version is that she's lying, she doesn't want to say that her d couldn't keep a girlfriend because he's an ass. She should recognize her, because she stayed over at his house, and they spent time together. All of which is fabricated information.
The next day, I got the ST. And if I asked him a question, got "I can't remember."   I went about my day, got lots of stuff done while he sat on the couch smoking and waiting for someone to notice him pouting.
He has since gotten over it, no fuel..
Good job, me! Still sad that this is my life, though

[ICantThinkOfAName]

Wow yeah step children provide so much ammunition for them. They know it will hurt you to criticize your kids. And they know you will take it to heart as something you need to do better as a mom.   Good for you to see it for what it is. A manipulation. Mine once told me that my daughter purposely stabbed holes in the buttons on the ice maker. His reasoning was that there were tiny holes in the buttons of the refrigerator for the ice and water. The facts were, only me, him, and her were home during the button stabbing and that he could only conclude that she had done it.

I calmly told him that it was normal wear and tear from hitting those two buttons repeatedly. He thought I was crazy and unwilling to think my daughter could be capable of such atrocities.

The very next morning my daughter asked me what happened to the buttons in the fridge.   

[losingmyself]

It's amazing watching him make up stories that support his image of people or events. I will very often, in an interested tone ask "Oh, so you've spoken to her, and you asked her about this?" That usually cuts him off. The problem is that he also makes up stories about me being mean and nasty at home. Recently, he told his brother how he fears waking me from a nap because "you don't want to wake the bear" like if awoken I'll be angry and horrible. Which is the exact truth about him. If I fall asleep watching a movie, I get poked and tickled, if he does, we are all expected to be silent. Literally. And we had better be there when he wakes up. No sneaking off. That's another thing. He accuses me of getting up at night and sneaking around the house. It's my house!! Anyway. I think he's trying to make sure everyone knows how horrible I am, so if I kick him out, he'll have supporters. It's not too difficult,  he just has to tell them things he does, but change the name.
Back to my dd, he has said on occasion that she's trying to come between us. She's trying to drive a wedge between us. So if I support the truth, and not his made up stories about her, I am helping her drive the wedge. All of this seems to be him preparing for the day I kick him out, so he has stories of his victimization and horrible treatment at the hands of me and my children. People love a good story. The thing is, who is he going to tell these stories to? Nobody that matters to me. I went off on a rant, there! Sorry, one thing just leads to another!
I hope everyone has a beautiful day! Look for God's blessings, they're all around!

[ICantThinkOfAName]

Holy crap the sleep thing!  He would get so mad at me if I fell asleep during a movie, constantly asking if I was awake and getting mad at me if I couldn't hang with him.  Yeah one time I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and he didn't hear me.  He got up and started heading toward the bathroom and was getting ready to just do his business when I politely told him the toilet was occupied.  You would have thought I was pointing a gun at him.  He screamed so loud.  Since then I have PTSD every time I get up to go to the bathroom.  It's like he never expects me to be in "his" space. 


Yes and everytime I wake him up to say good bye he has a scare reaction.  I feel bad waking him up but if I don't he accuses me of sneaking off.


yeah and the wedge thing.  That has been used.  I finally figured out the wedge is him trying to come between me and my kids.  I have made a conscious decision to always have thier back when in doubt and to be a "bad mom" in his eyes and do what I think is right for the kids.  I would never want them to think I choose him over them.  Sadly, this happened a lot initially.  My daughter pointed out one of these instances where he overreacted to a situation and demanded that I mete out the punishment and I did thinking that we had to be a united front and he needed to have a say in how things go in the house.  When my daughter confronted me about it recently she did not know that it was him that demanded the punishment.  I told her I was sorry and that I overreacted and that I should have handled it differently.  Because it was me who handed out the punishment.  Ugh...

[1footouttadefog]

These stories that involve kids and pd nonsense really get ro me.  It's west I fear most and why I am where I am at.

I am sorry you all are dealing with ads and kids.