“Get over it and be happy”

[CoffeeCup2]

Well, further into my shell I go.

Someone I thought I could trust to talk to pretty much gave me the impression they are not interested in hearing my complaints.

I was told to just be happy. Easier said than done.

It's crap like this that makes me withdraw even further. Self protection. Anti social behaviour. Bring it on.

[notrightinthehead]

Don't despair! Don't give up. You might have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a friend. With some people you can only do small talk. Others just want you to listen. And once in a blue moon you find someone interesting who seems to enjoy talking to you too. And then all you previous efforts make it worth your while.
Remind yourself - what others say tells you more about them than it says anything about you.

[athene1399]

It took me a while to find someone who validates my point of view and emotions. It is frustrating. But to play devil's advocate here, I fell into the trap of no one is listening, so the first person I start to be comfortable with I DUMP everything on. Sometimes that's overwhelming to others. So now I try to do a piece at a time. Talk about a bit and see their reaction. Then let it go if I have to, but if they seem interested or like they have advice to offer, I talk a bit more. Honestly, I have a lot of problems and most people don't want to hear about all of them in one sitting. But there are some who can handle that well. And make sure there's give-and-take. if the friend tells you all their stuff but has no time for your stuff, then that's not a good sign. Friendship isn't a river that flows in only one direction. It's back-and-forth. But like not right said, sometimes it takes a bit to find the right person.  that person is out there for you. It just may take some trial and error.

[SonofThunder]

CoffeeCup2,

I feel you.  People in general can be very difficult and as notright stated, the good ones are far and few.  Me personally, i have always 'held my cards close' (poker term) with others and only to a very select few am i able to reveal the hand ive been given.  Another opinion of mine is that in order to be great by ourselves (alone, not lonely: very different), we must first, be our own best friend: accepting and loving ourselves for who we are and where we are headed and willing to have the deep and open conversations with ourselves. 

I find many others who are not comfortable being alone, and in my opinion, they may need to first learn to love who they are, no matter what hand they have been dealt.  I feel for those who are not fully comfortable being alone, because they truly depend on others in this way, and as noted, those others, who are worthy of our time and effort, are very rare indeed.

SoT

[practical]

Sorry for your bad experience

I basically don't talk about my background to others. If I need to share I come here or see a T. My experience in the past has been that people don't understand the kind of background people on Out of the FOG share and it isn't that these people are disinterested or uncaring, they genuinely cannot comprehend, they are very fortunate to not be able to relate. (The answer you got unfortunately might mean the person was not very caring, because it is one thing not to comprehend, and another to say "Be happy!")

I think in the "Boundaries" book by Cloud & Townsend there is a model that our relationships are organized in several circles. The more inward the circle is, the closer it is to you, the more likely you are able to share things that are truly personal. Very few people are in this inner circle and it takes time to find them. So please don't give up, they are out there.