Cathartic exercise

[Pepin]

Had a cathartic moment this morning that came out of nowhere.  I was in the middle of working out, singing along to my songs when all of a sudden I started blurting out every single thing I could about CN MIL and who she was as if DH were seated right in front of me.  And I kept going through my following shower and the time it took to get ready.  It was unbelievable how it all came out!  Everything I said was a true fact and her reaction to her own behavior.  I literally almost started laughing because I realized how absurd she truly was as a human being - if you can call her that.  Nothing I said was a joke or put down about her - just the absolute truth.  Whew.  Feel so much better.  Wish I had recorded myself and written it all down. 

And when I ran out of things I had to say out loud about her I then wondered if anyone would ever do something like this me?  Nah.  There just isn't anything.  I'm too aware of a human being and am always looking to right any wrongs and do better if I have hurt anyone.  And that's just it about CN MIL - she was so completely warped living in her own little fantasy world that she could have cared less about how anyone felt about who she was or what she did.  She didn't care.  She didn't care how her behavior came off up until the day she died.     

I believe what I have done was to have my day in court. 

[JustKeepTrying]

What a wonderful cathartic experience you had.  So freeing!