Revelations

[Oscen]

I keep having revelation after revelation.
I'm arrogant. Passive. Yet also aggressive in conflict. Lazy. In a victim mentality.
I'm actually glad I can see this now. I'm responsible and I can change.
It's hard though - I'm trying to learn completely new ways to be in life.
I want to change completely and live a better life - a better life for myself.
I want to make myself and my partner proud.
By this time next year, I believe I will be well on my way.

[DistanceNotDefense]

Oscen - revelations like this can be so hard, but good! Kind of like a growing pain. I can really relate.

What a gift it is to be able to see how you can take the reins in a different way, to help make both you and your loved ones happier (and find necessary healing)

Don't forget to be easy on yourself...I doubt you're arrogant, lazy, passive, aggressive, or a negative anything/anybody by nature. We just slip up from time to time.

[1footouttadefog]

Coming Out of the FOG meant realizing I had picked up some coping mechanisms in childhood in response to abuse that were not altogether useful in adulthood.

I also found how my childhood sort of set me up for being in an abusive repationship as an adult.  Distorted exectations and overlooking wust should have been red flags ...things like that.

Working in my stuff has allowed me to know I did my oart to help relationships.  With those that remained toxic and had to be discontinued , i have no guilt because I fixed my part where I contributed.

I have found that going through this painful process resulted in my no lonfer entering into such relationships or keeping them at a safe level.

You will gain from your pain.  Keep up the hard work.  Take care of and be kind to yourself in the process.