All the sticks that propped me up are knocked away

[1footouttadefog]

I would try to speak with her when not near the father.  I would not be in a position to hand over the phone amd would keep my cards close tu my chest when asked about my contact with her.

If she calls him directly, that is in her and not something you cam control.

[losingmyself]

Thinking of you, Spark, and hoping things are going well

[BeautifulCrazy]

Sending you some love Spark.
Thinking of you often and praying for you and your family.
Remember to care for yourself.

[SparkStillLit]

Thank you all. You're so kind and such a help to read on here.
There was a huge blowout where I now keep some things in my car. The updh had a "come to Jesus" with himself and realized that no one tells him anything, nobody trusts him with anything and not to rage, and even the DOGS think he is unstable and rageful.
Now he is behaving differently and trying to work on that, without any expectation that people (or dogs) will suddenly become trusting.
The things remain in my car and preparations remain in place should I require them. I take behavior day by day as it presents itself.

[SparkStillLit]

Also he kind of made it up and apologised with the young lady. She is going to have to learn on her own that NC is probably for best (but how hard, with a parent!), because he seems truly incapable of refraining from trying to constantly "manage" her in all things.
I just had to shut his butt down because he was telling ME all this managey stuff....which I can only hope he did not convey to her but WHO KNOWS. Not my side of the street, right?
BIG BREATHS.
It sort of IS like learning to drive. Stay in your lane, keep off the kerb, don't cross the double yellow, signal, use good driving etiquette, follow the rules of the road.