Its almost like a mental illness with Dad now - hes pushing people away

[nanotech]

PDs are very black/ white in their thinking.
He's feeling panicky, as if he's now simply not immunised.
All the scientists have told us that the waning is pretty gradual, and as long as we go for booster when called, we will be fine in terms of our protection.   It isn't like suddenly falling off a cliff.

Unfortunately I think this is the way your dad feels. It's a PD thing. I've seen it with my own UNPDdad. They feel either completely safe, or totally unsafe.

One thing you could do, is ring 119. I've rung them a couple of times just to see how the land lay re getting a family member booked in. I got information and I found them supportive.
You can ring on behalf of someone else, and you don't have to tell your dad at all.
I rang them on behalf of my  grown up son, who has asthma. They can tell you if a letter has been sent, or if not, when it's likely due.
I was also going to ring for UNPDdad, but then the next day he received a letter.

This time around he rang himself, and was booked in over the phone. I KNOW it might seem like you are 'fixing', and that will give your dad narcissistic supply, but as long as you don't tell him, that won't happen.
I'm not an expert at all and I can't guarantee you'll have the same experience as me.  I just found that this helped my situation a couple of times.
At the moment he's doing a good job of passing on his anxiety to you.
This is a suggestion that could help him, but I'm thinking primarily of you.

Thanks nano - sounds like him.

I'm in wales so that doesnt help because even the rules are different here. He sees something on tv saying all over 50s should have had a letter and hes off - not in wales.
You can't call the number in wales- they will refuse to speak to you. They just say wait for the letter.

Thing is with Dad - he never goes out. Hes never going to catch covid. When it was bad a year or so ago, he refused to listen to lockdown at all. If you remember, I was the worst son int he world because I refused to visit. Brother drove to him, picked him up, took him to his house etc. This was stupid and all before ANY vaccine. So its annoying that hes like this now when he was totally stupid before!

About 119 in Wales, I didn't realise that.
I can see why he's being annoying. I remember him being against the lockdown rules last year.  So now he's just staying in! 
I guess he's doing whatever serves him in terms of gaining narcissistic supply from you, or whoever he can.  It's so difficult for you P123.

Yes Dad didnt agree with the lockdown rules because it affected him i.e. I couldnt visit!

Problem was brother was too stupid to understand 1) what the law was and 2) It actually made sense for Dad to isolate. Ive never been a fan of lockdown but at the beginning, the risks were there for Dad.

Of course, once brother visited that was it. I was the bad one for refusing. Not sure if it was ever the same in England but, at one time, you weren't allowed to leave you're county.
Fine for brother living a mile away. In South Wales at least, the counties are very small (e.g. newport is a county, cardiff is its own county) - so for me to travel to see Dad would have meant leaving my own county (newport), crossing two other counties (caerphilly and cardiff) before going into Dads county (rhondda cynon taff). Now I really didnt want a fine for doing that!

Of course, Dad answer (as it always is!) is that if I got pulled over by the police I should "explain to them that I need urgent care". Thats Dad for you. Always thinks hes on deaths door and its urgent I visit. Of course, not sure the police would have agreed it was so urgent when they realised my brother lived a mile away and I was driving from 30 miles away!

In the end, they kept on and kept on, I'd say to Dad no I can't visit, he'd speak to brother who'd tell him yes I can visit because hes old. I did email my local welsh assembly parliament member in the end, explained the situation and they're response was "sorry you're right, its not an emergency" Printed that out, gave Dad 2 copies. I was pretty peed off at the time that I had to do that mind!

Crikey P123 talk about pressure.You could have been fined a few times going through all those counties.  You were doing the right thing and keeping your dad very much safer by not visiting. There were reasons for the rules! No -one should argue (though clearly your dad DID!) against the screamingly obvious.
Your dad, when covid first emerged, was extremely vulnerable. You did right by your dad.

The train journey!- The 'mask on  mask off' shenanigans, are just absurd.

In England, we did have times where you
couldn't travel between counties. Sometimes OUR county was locked down and my dad's wasn't, and vice versa.

My dad has abided by the rules, and if anything, taken them further. He just hasn't wanted to see family in close proximity, even when it was allowed, until very recently.
Yet paradoxically, I was clearly expected  to protest against this and wail and weep! He wanted me to appear needy.
I wasn't needy.
Eventually, I think he sensed my lack of neediness in terms of seeing him.

It was a heavy lockdown time and freezing cold- a time when even garden visits wre banned.
He was going on and on about how it was months since I'd been there.  I calmly  agreed that it was a while. but I didn't JADE.
Calmly agreeing with him as a neutral statement of fact, while in no way accepting fault/ blame leaves him puzzled as to why he can no longer press my emotional buttons.
I must admit it always feels good to do enact this boundary.

There was no prospect  AT ALL, of me driving  a 65 mile round trip, to wave to him through the window from the street, in freezing cold weather, with no access to refreshments or a loo the whole trip ( I'm 63.)
 

He clearly felt that despite any health or comfort issues, I might suffer, that I should have been absolutely clamouring for this.
When instead I was accepting of  staying home, he said ( with some agitation) ;

" WELL  there's  NOTHING  to stop me driving right out of my town and up to where you live and parking outside your house and  STANDING ON THE PAVEMENT! "

I said, ( calmly)

" Ok, you're right, but you won't get in my house. You're not even allowed in my garden at the moment."

( great pleasure was had saying the last sentence!)

He angrily retorted,

" And YOU won't get in my house and  my garden either! "

Me (  keeping calm and as detached as I  can),

"I know dad, that's the law right now, so I won't be driving up."

Stunned silence from dad.
Sigh.

It's the same stuff that you get thrown at you, though the format may vary according to the mind games they play to try to meet their present need for supply from us. 
My dad kept/ keeps to the rules, but he can't or won't empathise in terms of my needs, whether physical or emotional.
As far as he's concerned, all of his kids should be providing him with the same 'service', ( adoration) whether they live a mile away, or 35 miles away.
If anything, i reckon dad thinks that's it's my responsibility to try harder to up my efforts to be on a par with my siblings. After all, it was ME who committed the cardinal sin of moving out of my home town. 
The other three have remained compliant and they all live very near him, as is the requirement of a narcissistic parent.
Easy for them then, to pop by and give him a quick wave from the street!

I think your dad operates along similar skewed assumptions. They are not going to change. They may not agree with  our non compliance to their demands, but they do have to accept it.
We no longer live under their roof and we don't owe them our lives on a plate for having done so.

[Boat Babe]