I just messaged her and told her a few things I'd been wanting to for years

[lkdrymom]

Why is the stuff your brother has going on more important than the stuff you have going on in her eyes?

I get that too. Dad worked in a factory all his life, brother works as a welder. I'm different - I work in IT in an office (or home).

I remember once "Can you take me xyz tomorrow?" "No Dad I'm working too short notice - what about brother?"
"WEll he can't can he hes working, you're just at home!!!" Jeez.

The old office work is not real work.  I used to hear that from my 1st husband.  His job was more important when he worked in a factory or a job site.  I just worked in an office so I could pick up and leave anytime. My job paid better, it provided us with health insurance and me with a pension...but his job was more important.  Now I probably make 3 times what he does in my little office job.  And I get to retire at 55 (63 days and counting) while I am not sure he will ever be able to do that.  My silly little office job.

[p123]

Why is the stuff your brother has going on more important than the stuff you have going on in her eyes?

I get that too. Dad worked in a factory all his life, brother works as a welder. I'm different - I work in IT in an office (or home).

I remember once "Can you take me xyz tomorrow?" "No Dad I'm working too short notice - what about brother?"
"WEll he can't can he hes working, you're just at home!!!" Jeez.

The old office work is not real work.  I used to hear that from my 1st husband.  His job was more important when he worked in a factory or a job site.  I just worked in an office so I could pick up and leave anytime. My job paid better, it provided us with health insurance and me with a pension...but his job was more important.  Now I probably make 3 times what he does in my little office job.  And I get to retire at 55 (63 days and counting) while I am not sure he will ever be able to do that.  My silly little office job.

Yep. Dad and brother live in the same world work-wise so he understands it and "its hard!"
If you work in an office you must be a manager in my Dads head i.e someone who gets money off someone elses work.

I work in IT. I remember once telling Dad I got paid an "oncall/standby allowance" which is common in IT. Not a massive amount. I remember Dad saying "Oh no-one in the factory ever gave me money for sitting at home watching TV when theres real work to be done".
Then one day, I got called, worked 2am till the day staff came in. Dad said "I'd never do that, no way are they getting me in at 2am like that. The cheek of it!"

I remember at the time thinking, there we go, your attitude is why you worked in a job you hated all you're life in a factory and I work in a highly paid office job.

[Lilyloo]

I have yet to understand the favoritism in families.  Its been a battle to make mom see that I matter too, that I have issues, problems, things to do!! It got so bad last week that I told her if it did not stop, I'd be the one having a stroke(brothers had 3, but has not tried to get well, he prefers to sit home and collect money from the state)  I was so mad that I just tossed that at her H*** she didn't care.  Shes got this thing that she will dump a ton of crap on me , then say "don't get upset, don't worry"  OMG!!

Desperation I guess caused me to tell her I'd be next to have a stroke.  Foolish me thinking my mom would ever care. Its all about her boys!! One has passed away, one had strokes, the other not well, and its all dumped on me. 

Often  I feel life being sucked out of me.  She dreams up illness just to visit doctors. They take her money.

[Lilyloo]

Oh and the title of this topic, the telling her what I wanted to say meant absolutely NOTHING!!